Blog// For Birthmothers

Choosing an Adoptive Family

After experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, you have chosen domestic infant adoption as the next course of action. Among meetings with social workers, your adoption agency and taking the steps to maintain a healthy pregnancy, you will also need to start thinking about who will adopt your child. This can be an overwhelming process, as there are hundreds of families hoping for a child, but only a handful that will best meet your standards, and be able to provide the life you wish for your child.

While all birthparents want the best future for their child, many are unsure of what type of family they wish to place with.

Close your eyes and envision a day in your child’s life. What does he or see when she wakes up in the morning and looks out the bedroom window? Skyscrapers? A beach? Houses? A farm? Who is there to greet them when they go to the kitchen? A mother and a father? Extended family? Brothers and sisters? What about pets? Try to imagine your child’s life 18-20 years from now. What are they doing? Are they attending college, traveling the world, or helping out the family business?

Whichever scenario you can best imagine for your child can become a reality if you take the time to find an adoptive family that best shares the qualities you are seeking.

Explore Your Openness: The first thing you will want to consider when choosing an adoptive family is the type of parents you see your child growing up with. When imagining the perfect family, who do you see? A mother and a father? Two fathers or two mothers? What about a single parent? There are plenty of adoptive parents who are either single or LGBT couples. Ask yourself if you are open to having your child raised by a same sex couple, or if a traditional family is a requirement.

Sort Through What Means Most: Before browsing family profiles, take some time to think about what you feel is most important for your child to have in order to lead a fulfilling life. While some birthparents envision an upbringing of traveling and adventures, others may value art, music or theatre or the introduction of many cultures. Many adoptive parents thoroughly illustrate their passions, interests and hobbies, helping you decide which families cater most to the hopes and dreams you have for your child.

Browse Family Profiles: Once you have decided what type of parents you are looking for (a heterosexual couple, married, same sex or single) and what type of lifestyle you would like for your child, it is now time to start reviewing family profiles. While this step is exciting, it is also one of the most important in the adoption process. Take your time while looking through the profiles, and carefully consider the pros and cons of each family.

Consider Where You Fit In: Perhaps the most important thing to consider when envisioning your child's life is where you fit. Would you like to be directly involved in his or her life after the adoption is complete? Do you wish to speak on the phone or exchange letters and photos? Would you like to have any contact at all? Each adoption is different, and whether you choose to have contact with your child in the future or choose no contact, the decision has to be based on what you feel is right for you, your child and the adoptive parents. Try to decide how much contact you want with the adoptive family before choosing a family, so your Adoption Specialist will be sure to connect you with an adoptive family that is willing and happy to fulfill those wishes.

To begin the process of choosing an adoptive family, contact LifeLong Adoptions or chat live with us now.

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