How did you decide to adopt?
Being a gay couple it was never an option in our minds which route we wanted to go. Adoption was the right choice for us.
What made you choose LifeLong Adoptions?
LifeLong was one of our top choices. We were originally with another agency and they took a lot of our time and money then finally dropped us with no explanation. We went back to the drawing board and LifeLong was the first one that came to my mind. We did more research and started with them.
What were some of the biggest challenges of the adoption process?
When we were with the first agency....the loss of time and money! It’s heart breaking when you want a child so bad. We now look back and say that was a step that helped us in our process into getting the love of our life, Preston.
What were you most nervous about?
The 48 hours after Preston was born! I was sick to my stomach! Those were the longest two days of my life! If the birthmother would have changed her mind I do not know what I would have done! I think the relationship LifeLong had started us with her was so helpful. We built on that relationship with her, which in turn made it a little easier for her and us.
What were you most excited about?
Being able to hold and look at my child in the eyes knowing that all of our lives were changed for the better. That instant love that people talk about for their children, wondering if it is true. I assure you it is!
How did your friends and family react to your decision to adopt?
Our families are so close. I think they were almost more excited than us! Our mothers went shopping that evening!
Did you choose an open or closed adoption - and how did you make that decision?
We were completely open to the option of open adoption. We want our child to know their story and their mother. We were leaving it up to the birthmother though. We decided on semi-open adoption because of the fact we live on complete different sides of the country. That choice for us was the right one, though we go much further than what the basics lined out for semi-open are. It is more like an open adoption for us now but just not seeing each other face to face all the time.
What was it like meeting the birthmother?
She had requested we come meet her and her family before Preston was expected to come. We did. It proved to be very beneficial to our relationship but I tell you, driving up to your birthmother’s house to meet face to face for the first time is so nerve racking. I made William drive around the block an extra time because I was so nervous and needed to wipe the sweat off my hands.
Adopting a baby can be a lengthy process - how did you get through the wait?
The first agency was lengthy and hard. You just live your life day by day knowing in the back of your mind it will happen. With LifeLong we were VERY lucky. We did not wait long at all! From start to connected with our birthmother, it was only six weeks! VERY lucky!
Describe receiving the call that your baby was being born and traveling to meet him:
Preston’s expected delivery date was mid-June. Our birthmother had a doctor’s appointment May 29th. She was having some contractions. She went to the doctor who told her she was going into labor. Our birthmother’s aunt called us and told us the baby was coming. That moment I booked a red-eye flight for us. William came straight home from work and we headed to the airport to get our flight in just two hours. We did not want to miss the birth at all! We got to Florida the next morning and went straight to hospital. They then said the contractions had stopped and to go home and wait! Ahhhh we thought, at least we did not miss it! We set up home in a hotel and spent more time with our birthmother, which was nice. One week later he came!
Describe the feeling of finally meeting your baby.
We were so lucky after building a great relationship with our birthmother she allowed us into the delivery room. As adopting a child you never know if that will be a possibility seeing your child born. I still thank her for that! She was in labor for a long time. Finally the nurse said, “Are you ready?” We said yes, and there he came! I cried out with joy, William was smiling from ear to ear, we looked at each other and said we loved each other. They looked him over and started to clean him, said he was fine, and asked me who was cutting the cord. William said, “That’s all you!” (he does not do so well with blood). With joy I said, “Me!” I cut his cord while trying not to cry from joy. They wrapped him up and said, “Here you go, congrats!” I was the first one to hold him. We both held him and when the doctor was done taking care of our birthmother, we took him over to her and told her that we were all a family now.
What is your relationship like with the birthmother?
AMAZING! We text about once a week. We send pictures and video all the time! We are bringing her out for his first birthday this June.
Would you adopt again?
Absolutely! We are saving very hard to start again! I have told LifeLong to expect us back soon!
What is something you would like to share with other adoptive parents?
Everyone’s story is different! There is no magic way of telling you how things will happen or what to exactly expect, but that’s the fun and journey of your experience! It’s ok to feel nervous, excited, or any one of the million things you will feel! Trust what you feel and want! You will hear so much advice from people. It’s just their nature of caring for you and wanting to help but, only you know what works!