Ryan &
James

our adoption story

Ryan & James
How did you decide to adopt a baby?

We always talked about wanting a family and adoption seemed to be the most logical option for us. We wanted to help a birthmom while starting a family, so this was truly a win-win situation. We thought about our other options, but stuck with adoption and are so glad we did.

Why did you choose to work with LifeLong Adoptions?

After a two-year experience with another larger adoption agency, we decided to cut our losses and move over to LifeLong where they had a more boutique approach. We liked the fact that they only worked with a limited number of couples at a time and specialized in same-sex couples. Plus our initial conversations with the LifeLong staff were very friendly, professional, and encouraging.

What were you most excited about?

We were most excited about starting the process, knowing it was only a matter of when we would get a baby, not if we would get a baby.

What were you most nervous about?

Probably speaking to a birthmother for the first time, but we got lots of experience after all was said and done. Most interactions were very positive and friendly, but the first couple of times it was nerve racking.

How did your friends and family react to your decision to adopt?

Everybody in our lives were very supportive and happy we were putting in the efforts to start a family.

What was it like meeting your birthmother for the first time?

We never got to meet her as she was discharged before we arrived to the hospital.

Describe receiving the call that your baby was being born and traveling to meet her.

Words can’t describe the excitement and nervousness we had in our stomachs when getting the call out of nowhere. From the first call to the time the baby was born was only two hours, so things moved very quickly. We flew from LAX to Arkansas 24 hours later and got to meet our baby for the first time.

Describe the experience of finally meeting your baby.

We had two flights and a 90-minute drive to the hospital. We were beyond excited but had no idea what to expect. We were greeted at the hospital by nurses, social workers, and the delivering doctor, who were all thrilled for us and this little baby. Holding our baby for the first time was something I will never forget. We both cried with tears of happiness as we looked at our beautiful daughter.

Did you choose an open or closed adoption?

We always wanted a semi-open adoption and that’s what we got. Our birthmother wants photos once a year on the baby’s birthday, and that’s what we will do. Maybe in a few years we will get to go back to Arkansas to meet with the birthmom and get to thank her in person. We think it’s best for our child to know her full story and her birthmother and birthfather are part of that. We hope that she will grow up knowing that her birthmom loved her so much and wanted the very best for her, and that’s why we were chosen.

What were the biggest challenges of the adoption process?

Waiting for something you want so bad and have no control over is very difficult. We also had several emotional scams along the way, so those were hard to deal with. But once we got our baby and started dealing with our attorney that LifeLong found for us, it was a breeze. Everything from the paperwork side really came together quickly and without delay. Two weeks after we got home with our baby, the birth certificate with both our names on it arrived — that was a good day.

Adopting a baby can be a lengthy process — how did you get through the wait?

After waiting for two years with the first agency and then another two years with LifeLong, we were starting to loose hope. With a few scams along the way and a recent failed adoption, we didn’t know if our day would finally come. We stayed positive with the attitude that it would happen when the time was right. We had a ton of family and friends supporting us and keeping positive thoughts coming our way. I think talking about it with everyone close to you is very helpful. Everyone in our lives knew what we were trying to achieve and the struggles to get there.

Would you adopt again?

It’s too soon to tell — we have a three-month-old at home! But once we matched with our birthmom, it was a very streamlined process. We got lucky with our birthmom being from a very liberal state when it comes to adoption laws. Our attorney was great to work with and so was the judge. I just don’t have enough good things to say about our entire experience, from the time we landed until the time we left, we were treated with amazing respect and kindness.

Do you have any other advice to share with other adoptive parents?

It’s so easy for us to say it now, but you have to remember that when the time is right, it will happen. The right baby will find you, you just need to stay positive and optimistic and don’t lose faith in what you want. We have been so blessed by this little princess, she makes us smile with happiness every single day. We can't get enough of her....

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