Blog// LGBT Adoptive Parents

Debunking Common Myths and Misconceptions About Adoption

Adoption is an often misunderstood process, especially for people who have never gone through it. Because of this, there are many myths circulating around in our popular consciousness. At LifeLong Adoptions, we are committed to illuminating the adoption process and dispelling myths that may be barriers for prospective birthmothers and adoptive families. Here are some common misconceptions about adoption and the truth behind the rumors. 

Why should adoption myths be debunked? 

Dispelling common myths about adoption is important because it allows prospective adoptive families and birthmothers to enter into the process with the most accurate information to make the best decision for themselves. Understanding the truth about adoption allows everyone involved to get a good picture of the reality surrounding the adoption process. 

What are some common myths about adoption? 

There are many common misconceptions surrounding adoption. Here are some of the most common myths about adoption that many believe: 

Myth 1: There are not many newborns to adopt in the United States.

Actually, newborn domestic adoption in the United States is very common and even thriving. Tens of thousands of newborn babies are adopted in the United States each year. We know because at LifeLong Adoptions, we focus specifically on connecting families through the domestic adoption process — just read our inspiring success stories from families we have helped over the years!

Myth 2: It’s faster and cheaper to adopt internationally instead of domestically.

This is a common myth that many people believe is true. This is actually completely false. While some save in the fees charged by an adoption professional, the amount of travel required for an international adoption can add up quickly. It can also take longer to adopt internationally because you are dealing with a legal system in a foreign country, which can hold up the process depending on their laws and norms.

Also, when you adopt internationally, you are, of course, beholden to the laws of the country where you are adopting from. Certain countries are unfortunately not as accepting of diversity as we are here in the United States, which can be a barrier for LGBTQIA+ families and single parents. 

Myth 3: A birthmother can come back for the baby. 

This myth is simply untrue due to the legal nature of the adoption process. The truth is that adoption is a permanent legal situation in which a child is provided a stable, safe home by their adoptive parents as designated by the courts. This is part of the reason why the adoption process is so lengthy. It ensures that a child is being placed in an environment where they will thrive. Once a birthmother signs her adoption consent and the revocation period has passed, this situation cannot be reversed. 

Myth 4: Adoption is too expensive. 

It’s no secret that the adoption process can be very costly, which can be a barrier for some prospective adoptive families. While many families do have ample financial resources, adoption requires a lot of up-front costs, like the fee for the adoption professional, the home study, lawyers, and more. These costs can be a burden sometimes on prospective adoptive families, but there are ways of getting financial assistance that can make adoption possible. 

There are grants, loans, and other forms of financial assistance available for hopeful families seeking to adopt. At LifeLong Adoptions, we never want finances to be a barrier to uniting families together, which is why we partnered with LightStream to offer transparent adoption financing. 

It should be noted that adoption is completely free for birthmothers. 

Myth 5: Adoption is easier than giving birth. 

This is another common misconception, and the truth is that no matter what path you take, bringing a child into your family is difficult. Adoption is a way for families to come together and make a deliberate choice as a way to achieve their dreams of having a family. It is certainly not easier than giving birth, especially due to how intricate the process is. 

Myth 6: A birthmother won’t see her baby again after adoption. 

This myth holds a shred of truth in the historical context of adoption. In the late 20th century, many adoptions were closed, and birthmothers were not able to maintain a connection with their biological child whether they wanted to or not. Thankfully, these days, open adoption is a common approach that fosters a healthy relationship between the birthmother, adoptive parents, and the child. An open adoption allows for contact between all parties before, during, and after the adoption is complete. With an open adoption, a birthmother can be in contact with the child as much is mutually agreed upon by everyone involved in a way that is beneficial. 

Myth 7: Only married, heteronormative couples can adopt a baby.

This is a common myth that many people believe is a barrier to considering adoption. In the United States, with the many progressive advancements in recent years, our idea of what a family looks like has become more diverse. People from all walks of life can adopt and work towards their dream of having a family, with LGBTQIA+ singles and couples being able to freely adopt in the United States. In fact, adoption professionals like us specialize in LGBTQIA+ adoption, because we are deeply committed to equality in adoption. Our adoption program is open to any family hoping to adopt regardless of their race, orientation, marital status, religion, or national origin. 

What is most important is that the prospective adoptive family is 100% committed to the adoption and they can provide a safe, stable, and loving home for their child. 

Myth 8: Adoption is only for people who can’t have children. 

This myth is absolutely not true and can actually be offensive to prospective adoptive families. Pursuing adoption is a deeply personal decision. Many families who have adopted children also have biological children. Adoption should never be perceived as a last resort option when it is actually a beautiful way for families to be united together. 

Myth 9: Open adoption is confusing for children. 

Due to the transparent nature of open adoption, it actually is not confusing for children. This situation allows the children to understand the different roles their adoptive parents and biological parents have in their lives, while also creating an environment where they have supportive adults present to guide them. Open adoption also allows the child to have a better understanding of the circumstances surrounding their adoption, giving them the space to process it in a healthy, productive manner.  

Myth 10: It takes many years to adopt.

Our last adoption myth is one of the most commonly held beliefs about adoption. This myth stems from the fact that adoption is a complicated process with a lot of moving parts that can feel lengthy at times. The most important thing to remember about adoption is that no one situation is the same and the length of time it takes to successfully adopt a child depends on different factors for every family. 

With that said, it is a simple fact that there is no specific timeline that can apply to every family. Some families may only take a year to adopt a baby, while for others it may take much longer. Prospective adoptive families should always keep in mind that there is light at the end of the tunnel no matter how long it takes. 

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