LGBT Adoption FAQs
Here we answer a few common questions about the gay and lesbian adoption process.
What should we know before we begin?
Before embarking on your endeavor to adopt, it’s important to keep in mind that this is a lifelong commitment. Relationships change over time, especially throughout the phases of a child’s maturing process. You need to know that the process of becoming licensed to adopt can be time consuming and at times stressful. A connection won’t happen overnight and you need to remain patient. Mentally prepare yourself for whatever might come your way, and most importantly, prepare yourself for the arrival of your child!
Does it take longer for same-sex couples to adopt than traditional couples?
GLBT prospective adoptive parents often feel like they will have a harder time adopting than their heterosexual counterparts. This is not necessarily true. More and more birthparents are choosing to place their children with same-sex couples, thus giving gay and lesbian adoptive parents an advantage, and making the process quicker.
Furthermore, the time it takes to adopt depends on a number of variables, including whether pre-adoption classes are required, how long it takes to complete your home study, and how long it takes to find the right child for your family. Keep in mind that a connection may not happen right away. LifeLong Adoptions will work with you throughout your two-year contract to make sure a connection is made.
Will children develop problems growing up in a gay or lesbian household?
The question has been long debated. Recent studies show that children growing up with gay or lesbian parents are no different from children raised by traditional, opposite-sex parents. Having gay or lesbian parents could be somewhat difficult when adopting an older child, but if you adopt a newborn baby, he or she will grow up having same-sex parents and it will be totally normal for them. Whether you are a heterosexual couple or a same sex couple, the basis is the same — you want to love and nurture your child. Do this to the best of your ability and both you and your child will reap the benefits.
Will children be teased if they have same-sex parents?
Most children experience teasing growing up for a variety of reasons. The real question is, what aren’t kids teased about? If it isn’t their appearance, personality, IQ, or whether or not they made the basketball team, it’s something else — and having a mommy and a mommy or a daddy and a daddy is just another thing to poke fun at.
Gay and lesbian people have been facing prejudice and discrimination all their lives, so you might already be aware of the sort of difficulties your child may face growing up in a non-traditional family. Most see it as an opportunity for their child to grow and develop as a person. You should be prepared for some rough spots, but the same is true for all adoptive parents, so don’t let that deter you from your dream of adopting a baby.
Will children raised by gay or lesbian parents become gay?
There is no clear way of proving this one way or another, but the evidence we have to date indicates that a child raised by gay or lesbian parents is no more likely to become homosexual than a child raised in a heterosexual household. Research suggests that sexual identities (including gender identity, gender-role behavior, and sexual orientation) develop in much the same ways among children of gay and lesbian parents as they do among children of heterosexual parents.
How do we become licensed to adopt?
There are many steps an individual or couple must take to be licensed to adopt in the United States. We believe that everyone should have a fair chance at adopting and will make sure you have all the tools necessary to bring your baby home. Prospective parents will go through a series of interviews, paperwork, and questionnaires before officially becoming licensed.
Do gay adoption laws vary state by state?
Yes. Each state has its own laws, rules, and regulations pertaining to gay adoption. As a gay- and lesbian-friendly service, LifeLong Adoptions is devoted to keeping our adoptive-parents as informed as possible. Check out our LGBT adoption laws by state.