dear expectant mother

Writing to a mother of a child we may be lucky enough to adopt has brought up so many emotions. That said, they fade in comparison to the emotions we’re sure you’re feeling. Placing your child into the arms of a family you haven’t met yet is so, so difficult—an emotion we will never understand. We are hoping that writing this note to you will not only convey our endless appreciation but also admiration to you for your courage.

On our first date, we agreed marriage and children were life goals. We are committed to one another but also committed to raising a child and passing on the love and lessons we were lucky to receive. Our hope for our child is not to be a varsity athlete or the next President (unless they want to be). We will raise our child to be authentically themself and, more importantly, kind. Growing up as two gay men in the South, we know what bullying looks like. We want our child to always rise above, stand up for what is right, and be a decent friend for others. Our commitment to you is that any child we are fortunate enough to raise will have a loving family, a comfortable home, and the space to be whatever they want to be.

We have chosen this moment to move forward with the adoption process because we are stable financially and emotionally. We are ready for the playdates with our friends’ children and to have family dinners around the kitchen table. We are ready to love unconditionally. That is our promise to you.