We had always wanted children. We envisioned a house full of kids after we got married. We tried but had difficulties in conceiving children, which was obviously very disappointing. We went through a tough time with miscarriages and multiple rounds of failed IVF cycles. Once we realized having our own biological children wasn’t meant to be, we decided maybe adoption was the path we needed to take.
After we met the adoption coordinator from the team at LifeLong at an adoption seminar we went to in town, we knew instantly we had found the agency we wanted to work with. Jill had great conversations with the LifeLong adoption coordinator. She felt understood and supported all throughout our journey with the team at LifeLong.
Adoption is not an easy journey by any means. Luckily, we had a group of friends who all have adopted children. After seeing them deal with the process of adoption from beginning to end, we went into the process with the right expectations. We knew that at times, it might get emotional and difficult. But we were all in.
We were very lucky in our adoption. Our entire adoption journey only took six months. We finalized all of our paperwork, and three months later, we received a call about our placement. Our expectant mother lived only 45 minutes from us, so we were able to spend time with her and develop a strong bond. She explained that she knew right away she wanted us to be the parents of her twins. She said to us, “I read your story in your brochure, and of those that I received, you were the only ones who didn’t have children. I made my mind up right away you were the family I wanted for my twins.” With our expectant mother living fairly close by, Jill was able to pick her up and take her to all of her doctor’s appointments. She also had the privilege of being in the delivery room when the girls were born. After spending all of this time with our expectant mother developing a relationship, you could see the trust she had in us and the comfort that she had made the right decision.
Since she had a date set for a C-section delivery, we already had bags packed for ourselves and the twins and were ready to go on “the day.” Upon arrival, we spent some time talking with our expectant mother and her friends. Shortly thereafter, she was taken back to the delivery room. Jill had the privilege of being in the delivery room as our daughters were born. The hospital prepared a room for us for the two nights we would spend there, and the girls stayed in our room. This gave us a lot of time to start building our bond with them. After trying for so many years, for us to finally hold our baby daughters was such a surreal experience.
Jill was admittedly protective of the girls and also of their birthmother’s feelings in what had to be a very difficult time for her. While we were confident everything was going to move forward as we hoped, in the back of our minds, we always knew their birthmother had the opportunity to change her mind. We showed a positive and supportive front for their birthmother.
When the time came for us to leave the hospital with the twins, it was one of the most difficult actions we took in this adoption process. Walking out of their birthmother’s room while pushing the cribs the babies were in was agonizing. We had developed such a bond with their birthmother and felt the hurt she was going through.
Nevertheless, with all of those difficult emotions, we came home with the girls.
After we came home, we had to wait out the 10-day period during which their birthmother had a legal right to change her mind. That was the most difficult time for both of us. When it came down to it, by that time, we were bonding as a family. It would’ve broken our hearts if their birthmother had decided to take the twins back. In the end, though, none of that mattered. We went through the waiting process by praying and keeping our faith. Since we kept the news of our placement and pending adoption pretty quiet, only telling family and very close friends, we were able to share the news of our excitement with everyone, and their response of support, prayers, and love was overwhelming.
Family of Four
Every day we realize how fortunate we are that our adoption journey was so quick and so seamless. We are truly blessed to have these two beautiful girls join our family. Throughout this process, we’ve realized the power and the importance of family and friends. Neither of our families live close by, but our girls are surrounded by our extended family, some of whom have biological children and some who have also adopted.
Even though adopting again is not in our plan, we would provide this advice to anyone who is looking into adoption: Be patient. Be honest about who you are, and try to build connections with the people who are there to help you. Your adoption coordinator, social workers, and attorney are there to make the process go as smoothly as possible. But most importantly, if you have the opportunity, build that bond with your expectant mother so you can assure her she made the right choice in selecting you. The process is stressful but can also be very enjoyable. And when that child is born and becomes a member of your family, it will be all worth it.