My Early Struggles
I was married years ago, and my husband and I at the time tried everything to build a family. We tried everything and did IVF a total of three times. Nothing took, and we became extremely devastated as well as emotionally drained throughout the process. It was a very hard time for me knowing that I was not able to have children. As a woman, you think this is your one job to do, and when you cannot deliver, it becomes emotionally draining. My husband and I went our separate ways, although it was due to other reasons than not being able to grow a family. I decided to work on myself and pursue my career.
While I was on a trip to South America, I ended up needing emergency surgery due to problems with my ovaries. I ended up getting my ovaries cleaned out, and afterward, I found out I was able to get pregnant. It was such a surreal moment hearing my baby’s heartbeat for the first time. I remember soaking it all in because I knew this was something I had wanted for a very long time. Four weeks went by before I was unable to hear the heartbeat. I was completely devastated. When this happened, it sparked my desire again of wanting children. I lost that for a moment when I was in the midst of my divorce.
The Growing Feeling of Wanting a Family
When I couldn’t knock the feeling of wanting children again, I started researching different adoption agencies. LifeLong Adoptions appeared for nontraditional families, which was something very important for me. I got in contact with them and then started my process immediately. I was very skeptical to start the process because there were so many unknowns. I had been let down so many times before that my hopes were not high as I began my journey.
Over Christmas, I headed home to visit my family. While I was there, I received a call from LifeLong informing me that an expectant mother wanted to start communicating with me. I was completely ecstatic. The next day, I began texting with her. I was a little guarded at first because I had heard so many horror stories of adoption and was just waiting for that to happen to me.
About four months into us talking, I asked if she wanted to meet me. She was willing, so I headed to where she lived and was able to meet her, along with her twin daughters. We had lunch together as well as shared a few afternoons together while I was there. We got to know each other more and even talked about different names for the baby. At that moment, she informed me I was her only choice. Butterflies filled my stomach as this was something I had always wanted to hear. Throughout the following months, she kept me informed about her and the baby, which I was extremely grateful for.
Dreams Do Come True
One day she notified me that she thought she was in labor. Not thinking twice, I immediately got into my car and drove to go see her. I did not want to miss the birth. When I arrived, we found out that it was false labor, but they said she could go into labor any day. I decided to stay there with her because I was not going to miss the birth.
About a week had passed when she went into labor. I stood by her side the entire time with her friends and family. Avery Jane Marie was welcomed to the world, and in that moment, my heart was finally complete. It was an unbelievable feeling after having spent years waiting for this exact moment. Tears filled my eyes knowing that I had finally succeeded at the thing I had wanted most in life. Avery’s middle name is so special to us because Jane is Avery’s birthmother’s middle name.
The next few days were filled with doubt. Avery’s birthmother began to backpedal, wondering if this was something she really wanted to go through with. I was trying to stay positive, though deep down, I was really scared. Doubts started filling my head if this was really going to happen for me. Avery’s birthmother decided she needed to get out of the hospital and change her scenery. I think this helped a lot with her decision making because she was able to find clarity and comfort with her decision.
In the days following, I was able to bring my precious Avery home. I am still in contact with her birthmother, giving her updates and pictures. About nine months after Avery was born, I received a call from her telling me that she was pregnant again and was looking to do an adoption again. She asked if I was willing to adopt again, and it took me all of two seconds to say yes.
The Impossible Is Now Possible
I had always wanted biological siblings for Avery, but I never thought that it would come true. This time we just went through our lawyers, and it was a much simpler process, partially because I knew what to expect.
When I arrived at the hospital for his birth, I knew going into it that we made this choice together. Avery was there at the hospital, and I asked her birthmother if she wanted to meet Avery. She was extremely grateful for the opportunity. When they met for the first time, it was the most precious thing. I am so thankful we experienced this moment I am now able to share with Avery when she is older. I took videos and pictures of them together. We then welcomed our beautiful son, Malachi, together as a family.
I am extremely grateful to have such a wonderful birthmother for my children. We are still in constant communication with each other, exchanging photos and letters with her. I am extremely thankful to have two children out of this experience who are biological siblings. It is truly a dream come true.
Always Have Hope
For anyone, especially single parents, know that having a family is possible. I never gave up my dream, and here I am holding my two precious children. Go into this process with an open mind, and do your research. Know that everything may not go as planned, but learn to go with the flow. Patience and trusting the process are key throughout this entire experience. If I had not gone through the failures that I experienced, I would not be holding my precious Avery and Malachi. The wait will always be worth it.