Love Like We’ve Never Known
We always knew we wanted to start a family. When we decided to adopt, we'd already been together for 12 years. We are solid, and we have a solid support system around us. We picked adoption over foster care because we didn’t want our hearts to be broken each time a child returned home. Our family and friends were very excited for us when we made the decision. They always knew we’d be great parents. They couldn’t wait to support us on our parenting journey.
Michigan has restrictive laws regarding adoptions by same-sex couples. We got a referral from a gay dad’s group on Facebook for LifeLong, and we are very grateful. LifeLong has an LGBTQ focus. They helped us the whole way.
We knew it was going to be a long process, but we also had hopes and dreams. We really tried to support each other to set the right expectations.
It’s Not All Rainbows and Sunshine
When our first expectant mom chose us, we were very excited. She had twin boys. But she wasn’t the best with communication after we were notified of her interest in our family. After a failed trip to meet her and to try to get a better feeling where she was with the process, we learned she had changed her mind and left the state. After wasting money to go down there, we were frustrated and disappointed.
On the same day of what was supposed to be the due date for that mother, we unexpectedly got the phone call that another expectant mom had chosen us. We followed up with the expectant mother immediately. We had a good feeling about this expectant mom.
Setting the Right Expectations
After our first experience that didn’t work out, we had a lot of doubts about the process. We understood that at any moment, there’s a chance it could go either direction. We tried to learn everything we could about the process. You might say we had some growing pains, but we were given a second shot and gave it our all. We communicated every other day with our next expectant mother. She was wonderful. We made an instant connection with her.
Our relationship with her was based on clear, open, and honest communication. During the pregnancy, she regularly sent us ultrasound pictures and updates. We kept in touch and bonded with her, eventually even befriending each other on Facebook. Mason, being a singer-songwriter, was even asked to sing a song so our son would know one of our voices.
The Day Our Lives Changed Forever
On the night prior to the induction, we took her and her boyfriend to dinner. The bonding we had done over the last seven months was sealed. The induction occurred the next morning. Although we were told it would be a long process, it wasn’t a few hours later when we were sitting in the parking lot and she called us: “You have to come in. I’m about to deliver.” She delivered within 10 minutes after we got to the delivery room.
We were inside the delivery room with her, witnessing the whole birth, supporting her. We squeezed her hand, and we all cried together. The first time we saw his head coming out and his face, we felt an overwhelming sense of responsibility for this new life. We felt joy like we’ve never experienced before.
So Much Love
We didn’t think this much love was possible, but we had such an instantaneous bond with Milo. Even our bond with his birthmother was instantaneous. She said in a heartfelt Facebook post, “I have a few regrets in my life, but choosing the perfect parents for Milo will never be one of them. I truly believe in soul mates but not that it only exists between romantic partners. Milo was destined to be with them.”
To parents who are looking to adopt, we want you to know this is a journey. Try to not have a deadline. Trust the journey. You are more resilient and patient than you think. Most of all, have faith because it’s going to work out. You will adopt the child who was meant for you.