Our Journey to Adoption
We both always knew we wanted to be parents, so when we met, starting a family was an easy decision. Shortly after starting to try for a child, we were met with disappointment. No one wants to hear that they cannot have children on their own. Infertility treatments were something we decided we did not want to try because it did not seem right for our family. We knew there were so many children that needed good homes, and we loved the idea of growing our family through adoption. A child does not need to come from our bodies to be loved by us.
We researched different companies and came across LifeLong Adoptions. The idea that LifeLong had a lot of information on their website and acceptance of all family types made us feel like they were the right fit for our family. Our families were over-the-moon excited for us and supportive throughout the process.
Waiting for Our Turn
Starting our journey, there are so many emotions. On one hand, we were excited and hopeful that we were on the path that would lead us to our baby. On the other hand, we were cautiously guarded because we knew there were no guarantees with this process. It is very scary going blindly through a journey that you have no control over. We had to take a chance and trust each other, the process, and LifeLong.
We received a call from LifeLong with information about an expectant mother who was looking to place her child for adoption. We reached out via phone and started the conversation light. We then had a conversation via Zoom, and it was very nice to be able to see each other. We all admitted we were nervous, which is expected because it feels like a first date. What should we talk about? Is it okay to ask this? Will she like us? These were just some of the questions going through our heads.
On our Zoom call with the expectant mother, we talked about names, circumcision, and birth plans. We also talked about our favorite TV shows and fun things. By the end of the call, we were no longer nervous. The conversation went really well, and we were feeling more hopeful about our opportunity.
Choosing Open Adoption
Going into adoption, we thought a lot about what type of adoption we were open to. We had conversations regarding when we would tell our child they were adopted and what type of relationship would be most beneficial for the child. All the different scenarios played out in our heads, but ultimately we decided that if the birthmother wanted to know us and her child, then we would respect that.
It is important to choose what you feel comfortable with and not be afraid of what others might think of you because you want open or closed or semi-open. Do what feels organic and right for you at the time.
Noah Is born
One day we received a call from the birth mother. She said she was experiencing some bleeding, so we advised her to call 911. She had a planned induction in three weeks, so this was very early. We were so scared, and we are sure the birth mother was too. We had no idea what was going on, and our minds were racing, hoping that everything would be okay. We did not know if we should change our flights and head there now, or maybe this was nothing and we were just stressing out for no reason.
A few hours had passed, which, in a situation like this, feels like forever. We received a call that Noah was born via emergency C-section. It was now time to meet our son, so we made arrangements as quickly as possible. A few hours after receiving the call, we landed and were headed to the hospital.
We were so worried because Noah was in the NICU, and we prayed he would be okay. There are no words to describe how perfect he looked and how grateful we were. Once we knew Noah would be okay, we allowed all the walls to come down and accepted the instant love we had for this tiny baby boy. The moment when you first meet your child is overwhelming and magical.
Trust the Process
The hardest thing for our family throughout our adoption journey was patience. We waited for our miracle, and there are times you think to yourself that this might not work out, especially as the wait becomes longer and longer. It is important to trust the process and live life as normally as you can. For us personally, we prayed a lot, and that helped get us through the difficult times. The start to your adoption journey will be hard as well; all the preparation can be overwhelming but is so worth it. Remember why you are doing this: to become parents and give a child a loving home. Stay true to yourself, and don’t worry about what others might think. This is your journey, your story!