How to decide between open and closed adoption
LifeLong Baby Bohdi
LifeLong Baby Gianna
In recent years, the trend has been toward having more openness in adoption. If you want a closed adoption, you might be struggling with whether to consider agreeing to a semi-open or open adoption instead. Here are some things to consider when choosing between an open adoption and a closed adoption.
Think why you are reluctant to enter into an open adoption.
Many hopeful adoptive parents initially want a closed adoption because that is the only type of adoption with which they are familiar. Explore your reasons for not wanting to have more openness in your relationship with your child’s birthmother after the adoption.
Consider the reasons that open adoption has become the trend.
When all adoptions were closed, adoptive families did not know why their adopted child was put up for adoption. They also did not have access to a family medical history. Understanding the reasons behind open adoption can make that option seem less daunting.
In most open adoptions, the adoptive family sends the birthmother pictures and letters on a regular schedule, such as annually or semi-annually.
Your adoption coordinator might also have you meet the birthmother — on a first-name basis only — before the baby is born.
Ask yourself if you would be willing to follow through on promises to the birthmother.
Some hopeful adoptive parents will promise whatever they need to in order to entice an expecting mother to choose them; but, this is unethical. If you are not willing to follow through with sending pictures and letters to the birthmother, then choose a closed adoption.
Think about whether an open adoption or closed adoption would be best for your adopted child.
Do you think that your adopted child would appreciate knowing that his or her birthmother cared enough to want to know how he or she is doing? Or do you think that it is in the best interest of an adopted child to have no contact with his or her birthmother?
Ask yourself if you are willing to wait longer for a closed adoption.
Because the trend is having some level of openness in an adoption, it generally takes longer to find an expecting mother who wants a closed adoption.