Adoptive Parent Resources / After Adoption

Bonding with Your Adopted Baby

Bonding with Your Adopted Baby

All the waiting is worth it when you finally bring home your newest family member. You have made it this far, and now your focus shifts to learning how to bond with your baby. If you are feeling apprehensive about how to start the process, you’re not alone. This is a concern of many adoptive parents. Here are a few tips for bonding with your adopted baby.

1. Skin-to-Skin

Just because your child did not learn your body in utero does not mean they cannot develop a deep connection with it after birth. Babies bond heavily through skin-to-skin contact. Lay your baby on your bare chest. Let him or her memorize the way your skin feels and smells. Your child will find peace in the warmth of your body and the sound of your heartbeat. In the early months, carrying your child around in a wrap or sling will help give your baby additional time against your body while also allowing you to have your hands free to get other things done.

2. Building Trust

Some parenting campaigns advocate allowing children to cry for a certain amount of time prior to responding to their needs. An infant can only express their needs through crying, and a parent’s response to their cries is essential in building trust. It is suggested that you respond to your child’s cry either physically or verbally within 15–30 seconds. As you build trust and your baby gets older, you will be able to scale back how quickly you respond to their cries.

3. Focus on Your Baby

Babies thrive on eye contact. Your baby will enjoy every moment that his or her parents gaze into their eyes. Keep in mind that in early infancy, babies can best see objects that are 8–15 inches away from their face. Most parents have a hard time taking their eyes off their little one, so this way of bonding usually takes little effort.

4. Take Advantage of Feedings

Feeding time is an excellent time to bond with your baby. Babies associate food with survival, so as you feed them, hold them close to your body and look into their eyes. Considering it as bonding time may also help alleviate just a little of the exhaustion of those 3am feedings.

Bonding with an adopted baby is not much different from how parents bond with their biological babies. Though your bonding process will not begin until after your child is born, you still have many of the same strategies and will very likely find it much more natural and easy than you thought it would be.

More After Adoption