Bringing Us to Adoption
We always wanted kids and to have a family of our own. We tried multiple routes to grow our family over the years and after many disappointing outcomes we ultimately lost hope. Then we found LifeLong. We just kept coming across the company and really appreciated that LifeLong was non-traditional and open to working with families with our lifestyle. We found hope again after years of disappointment. We wish we would have started here from the beginning of our journey. Though we were unsure about the adoption process and had fears, we knew we needed to take a chance. We told ourselves we wouldn’t know unless we tried.
Throughout the years of trying to grow our family, there was a lot of disappointment, so we felt this time we did not want to tell anyone about this new endeavor. It was not easy to go through the disappointments as a couple let alone have to share them over and over with our friends and family. It wasn’t until we needed referrals for our home study that we shared what we were up to. Still, we kept it very private. Even those select few that knew supported us not only in our decision to keep it private but as our support team. We didn’t even tell Maci’s mom until our opportunity came.
We were reaching the one-year point of our time with LifeLong, and we were getting nervous. Though we kept busy with our jobs, we traveled often, just mini trips to keep us busy. Keeping our minds busy and distracted really helped with the wait. By now, we also needed to update our home study and we were not sure if we should or even could keep going. It had already been a long road before even starting with LifeLong, and we were questioning whether we should continue. We decided to take one of those mini trips we had been taking throughout our wait and it gave us perspective. We needed to just go with it! We were emotionally exhausted and feeling hopeless, but we had to hold on to hope and keep doing the steps needed for when it did happen.
The Call that Changed Everything
The week we came back from our trip we got a call from LifeLong. An expectant mother wanted to communicate with us and her baby was due in two weeks. We were overwhelmed and could barely get our words out. Could we make this happen? But there was no time for what ifs. It was so surreal, we just had to do it. It was intimidating, exciting, and scary. We were not the only family she was considering either. From there it was all very quick and hard to imagine how it would all come together. It wasn’t going to be easy, but nothing about our journey was. We made that commitment to ourselves from the start to take the chance and we were all in. The support of our team and their experience truly helped get us through.
Holding On to Hope
Our communication with the expectant mother was a little different in that we only communicated with her aunt. Despite all the unknowns, we made our trip to meet her. While at a local coffee shop, we received a text from the expectant mother’s aunt that the baby had arrived! This would be our first time not only meeting the expectant mother, but our son.
When we arrived at the hospital, our son was just two hours old. The nurse handed him to us. He opened his eyes looking into ours. We were so scared to fall in love with him, but then we immediately felt this calmness. He was absolutely beautiful. We tried not to get too attached because we knew anything could happen, but it was too late. He had been what we were hoping for all this time. We were in love with this child.
We were on pins and needles waiting for things to finalize. It was the longest few months of our lives. We loved this child and know this was part of the process, but it was so hard, and we have the grey hairs to prove it.
There was hesitation on what the birthmother wanted when it came to communication after placement. She decided a semi-open adoption was what she would like and we enjoy sharing updates and photos with her.
There will be risks, fears and times you feel hopeless. If you take anything from our story, we want you to know that not every situation will work, but don't look at it as a failure, look at it as an experience. We wouldn’t be here without hope.