Once the big day arrives and you’re about to become a parent, it’s the time to meet a birthmother at the hospital and start the process of organizing every single detail, including your adoption hospital plan. Whenever possible, this plan should be prepared in advance to avoid any surprises or unwanted scenarios. The hospital plan includes the time you’re going to spend in the hospital during the labor, delivery, and several days after the delivery. Here are some tips on how to create your adoption hospital plan.
Most of the adoption hospital plan will be up to your birthmother because most of it is based on her wishes; however, the adoptive parents should also know what to expect during the hospital stay. That’s why you'll need to answer some of the important questions like whether you'll be in the deliver room when the baby is born, what kind of communication you'll have with the birthmother, and how much time will you spend with the baby after he or she is born.
An adoption hospital plan can change at any point. Maybe a birthmother doesn’t want adoptive parents in the room at first, but once she gets to know them, she could change her mind. That’s why creating an adoption hospital plan requires a lot of communication and appreciation of everyone’s needs. This plan should be concentrated not only on the birthmother’s wishes, but also on her baby’s needs.
If you're communicating with your birthmother, ask her if she has created an adoption hospital plan. It’s important to know and completely understand her wishes and preferences, so you should request a copy. If you're not communicating with your birthmother, ask your adoption professional to provide you with the necessary information.
Contact your adoption professional, lawyer, or social worker to see what information is needed from you before the hospital stay. Also, check if it would be possible to arrange for a room in the hospital so you can stay there during and after the labor and delivery.
In the days after the baby is born, legal documentation needs to be completed. This also includes writing the baby’s name on a birth certificate, so try to arrange this with a birthmother before. She may wish to choose the baby's name or wants you to do this.
Things other items that should be a part of every adoption hospital plan:
- List of people who are going to be in the room during the delivery.
- Who’s going to cut the umbilical cord?
- Are you going to participate in a skin-to-skin contact after the birth?
- Is the birthmother going to spend some alone-time with the baby?
- Decide how you want to remember that day. Do you want someone to take photos or a video for you and the birthmother as well?
- Who’s going to keep which baby’s hospital belongings and other keepsakes, like the hospital bracelet and baby blanket?
A hospital stay is a highly emotional period for you and a birthmother as well, so talk openly about everything in order to create the plan that’s going to work out for everyone. It’s always important to say hello, before saying goodbye, so try to handle this situation with care and sensitivity for the birthmother.