In the early days of adoption, Dear Birth Mother letters were single-page biographies. Today, the competition has heated up, and the number of prospective parents continues to grow. Recent studies show that for every newborn, there are nearly forty adoptive parents searching. Every type of family you can imagine is hoping for a child —married, unmarried, LGBT couples, and single individuals.
So, how do you write the Dear Birth Mother letter that will enchant the right birthmother for you? For starters, be confident and honest. If adoption is your dream, you will find out very quickly that the words will start flowing once you begin. At LifeLong Adoptions, we want you to be happy with your Dear Birth Mother letter. When writing yours, be sure to use these five necessary tips.
Connect with the Right Birthmother:
While the agency you are working with will work hard to connect you with a birthmother, keep in mind that successful adoptions occur when the adoptive parents and birthparents make a strong pre-birth connection. So - don't exaggerate, fib, or most importantly, try to be something you are not. Authenticity is what will catch the eye of birthparents, and best represent your personality, lifestyle, and family philosophy. This will help you connect with a birthmother who shares your views.
Paint a Picture of how you Live:
Remember the age old saying, show don’t tell? This is the lesson you should refer to when composing your birthmother letter. Don’t just tell the birthmother what your life is like, show her. For example, instead of saying “we live in a nice home” say “we live in a beautiful home in a small suburb just outside of Chicago. It is warm, welcoming, and the street is filled with other families playing or walking their dogs.” Read it out loud. You can see the families, right?
Identify Places in Your Life Where the Baby Will Fit:
Do you like sports? Art? Music? The outdoors? While describing your interests and hobbies, find ways to illustrate how an infant or child will fit in. If you love Broadway musicals, talk about how you can't wait to take your child to a show and introduce them to this world. If handiwork is your speciality, joke about needing someone to hand you tools while you fix a leaky pipe. This will help the birthmother visualize how her baby's life will be.
Pretty straightforward, right? If want to complete a successful adoption, you need to show it. Explain your lifelong dream of starting a family. If infertility was an issue for you, give it a positive spin by explaining how it led you to adoption. Birthparents are looking for people who will make their child’s life better, so make sure you are representing yourself as a stable, happy and positive figure.
Be the Solution:
There are many reasons why birthmothers choose to place their child for adoption. With that said, it is no question that the adoption process could be an emotional and painful experience for her. The birthmother most likely feels that she cannot provide the life that someone else (you) could. Don’t zone in on any of the deficiencies about your life, but rather, communicate the aspects that will show the birthmother that you are the solution her child needs.
So there you have it! Keep in mind that these are just suggestions to get the ball rolling. At LifeLong Adoptions, we have helped hundreds of hopeful adoptive parents connect with birthmothers. We are constantly working towards helping our clients find happiness through adoption, and look forward to helping more and more parents as they embark on this special journey.