At the beginning of the adoption journey, there a lot of questions. Birthmothers want to know some things about their prospective adoptive families because they only want the best fit for their children. Open adoption allows birthmothers to connect directly with adoptive families what makes the situation a bit easier. But there are a lot of wonderful couples and sometimes it’s hard to make the final choice. What birthmothers are looking for in adoptive parents is a question that pops up again and again. We’ve prepared a list of some things that birthmothers want adoptive families to know.

 

Why she chooses one family over another...

Birthmothers are often asked about the common reasons she chooses a particular family or a couple. The answer may be based on where they live, their hobbies or professions, how they spoke about the adoption, or simply because there is a special connection between a birthmother and prospective adoptive family. When choosing a particular family to adopt the child, birthmothers want you to know that there are some pretty important factors.

  • Educational opportunities for the child.

  • Financial security.

  • A close marital relationship.

  • If you like the same activities that is a bonus.

  • The same religious backgrounds.

  • Birthmothers want a nice and secure neighborhood for their child.

  • Also, they like when there are children in your neighborhood.

Birthmothers want a stable home. However, each prospective birthmother will have her own set of priorities. When birthmothers make an adoption plan, it’s important for them to meet the prospective adoptive family. They want to be able to talk to them before the birth and arrange every single detail regarding the adoption and hospital plan.

What she’s not looking for...

An adoption is an emotional journey for everyone involved. A birthmother doesn’t want to be lectured or judged, so don’t make any assumptions about the reasons why she’s placing her baby up for an adoption. Treat her with dignity and respect, and always be honest with her. Birthmothers want adoptive families to be themselves. At the end of the day, it usually comes down to beliefs, personal preferences, and values. She mostly wants to know your integrity and if you are the right fit for raising her child. Let her decide the extent of how much she wants to get to know you personally. Open communication is extremely important in an open adoption. Do your best to empathize with her and anticipate everything she might want to know about you before she can be comfortable placing her baby in your family.