Blog// LGBT Adoptive Parents

The WRONG Reasons to Adopt a Baby

Lesbian Adoptive Parents

Adoption is a beautiful gift you can give to a child in need of a family. There are many good reasons to adopt a baby as well as a few wrong ones. Sometimes people think that a child will change everything that seems to be wrong within a relationship. In many cases, this is not true. As a matter of fact the pressure of parenting can sometimes make the a relationship fail even quicker than if there had just been devoted attention to the problems that were pre-existing. It is important to note that these children, who are in need of a family, should not be responsible for making the necessary changes to a relationship, they should be allowed to be the ones primarily being nurtured in there new family. There are quite a few reasons that adoption timing is very important in an adoptive family, and some of the following reasons might be a reason to postpone.

The wrong reasons to adopt...

The attitude with which you approach the adoption tells a lot about your reasons for pursuing it. However, there are some wrong reasons to adopt a baby. If any of the wrong reasons to describes your sole purpose to adopt, it may not be the best option for you.

1. Pressure from family and friends.

People around you can have a great impact on your decision, but you and your partner are the ones who are going to raise a baby. It is good to ask for advice, but the advice is welcomed the most when you want to clear the things up, not if you want someone to make a decision for you.

2. You want to save a marriage.

An adoption is a process that takes full consideration of both parties in a relationship. If one side chooses to adopt a baby considering it a marriage-saving decision, that can cause tensions in your marriage. Partners need to talk about their core issues before undertaking this life-altering decision.

3. Saving the children.

If you think that by adopting a baby you are going to save him or her, you may be disappointed when the child refuses to be “saved” and develops behavior problems. Children don't need to be brought into a family that thinks saving is what they need.

4. You want to have an heir.

If you want to adopt a baby just because you want to continue the family line, that is not strong enough conviction to have the heart and stability to raise a child successfully.

5. Adoption is the second best.

When parents have infertility problems, that can have a big impact on their life. If you can't have biological children, adoption is not second best. Adoption is a way of creating a family, not something you should just settle with.

The desire to give a child a family is a positive reason to adopt. If you have grown up in a loving and caring family, it is natural that you might want any child to be afforded that life. Adoption is just another wonderful way to create a family, and people usually decide to adopt when they have a wonderful relationship or marriage and they want to raise a child when they are fully ready to share that and become parents. Any of the wrong reasons to adopt a baby can be harmful to both the child and your relationship, so approach your adoption story with a strong sense of purpose. Guts and glory come with rearing a child to a successful adult.

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