Blog// LGBT Adoptive Parents

How Does a Birth Mother Choose Adoptive Parents?

Just like every adopted child is different, every birth mother is different too. We all have our own sets of beliefs and principles, many of which we want to pass on or instill in our children. It is no different for a woman placing her child with an adoptive family. She wants to find an individual or couple who share her own view point, and will raise her child as she might have herself if her circumstances were different. With this in mind, in this article we’ll be looking at some of the key factors that expectant women opting for infant adoption look for when choosing who to place their child with. 


Adoption Type
Nowadays there are many different types of infant adoption that birth mothers and adoptive families can choose. Closed, semi-open, and open adoptions are all popular for different reasons, with some families deciding that a clean break (closed adoption) is best, with other birthmothers wishing for regular updates of their child (semi-open), and others wanting an ongoing relationship with their child as well as with the adoptive family (open adoption). 


Therefore, the type of adoption the adoptive parents are looking for will directly impact upon which birth mothers may be interested in placing their child with them.


The Adoptive Family
The type of family a birth mother envisions her child being raised by will also impact upon the choices she makes when it comes to placing her child. Some birth mothers may be looking for traditional couples, while others might be looking for a single parent or wishing for LGBT adoption. They may wish for their child to be the first child of the adoptive parent(s), or may want their child to join a family as a sibling.


The birth mother may envision their child living in a specific region, be it coastal, rural, or in the city. This may simply be down to the kind of lifestyle they wish for their child, but in the cases of open adoption, may also be so visitation is easier and can be more frequent. They may even want the child to be raised in the same place they were to increase their connection with their placed child.


Religion or Beliefs
The birth mother may be of a certain faith, or wish their child to be raised with faith. They may also have a certain belief they want their child to be raised with in, such as being an LGBT ally, and therefore opting for LGBT adoption.


Often less considered, but still of import to some birth mothers, a birth mother may wish for their child to be placed in a family of the same ethnicity as them. This can be for many reasons, such as not wanting the child to feel different or odd within their family. Often though, birth mothers will choose the aforementioned factors over the race of their child's adoptive family.


Right Choice
Whatever a birth mother’s methodology, one thing is important to remember, it is the birth mother who is making the difficult choice of placing her child, and it is her right to select who she feels in her heart is the best choice to raise her baby. While rejection can be frustrating, it is important to keep hope, as the right connection may be just around the corner.

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