Blog// For Birthmothers

Surviving Mother’s Day as a Birth Mother

Mother’s Day honors mothers for the sacrifices that they make for their children. For a couple who adopts, they wouldn’t be able to celebrate without the sacrifice that the birth mother made. But for the birth mother, this can be a very difficult day to get through.


As a birth mother, you may dread the holiday. It may remind you of the hardest choice you ever had to make. It can bring back a flood of emotions that can be overpowering. But there are ways that can help you cope.


Talk to Your Friends and Family

The decision to choose adoption wasn’t an easy one. You have experienced a loss, and it can be difficult to deal with. But talking to someone can help you cope and get through the day. When you have support, it can make it easier.


Who Can You Talk To?

  • Supportive Family

  • Supportive Friends

  • Adoption Specialist

  • Counselor or Therapist

  • Other Birth Parents

  • Adoption Support Groups

  • Adoptees

  • The adoptive parents, if you have a good relationship


Stay Busy

Find an activity or hobby that can keep you busy. When you are busy, you are less likely to dwell on the day and grieve over your decision.


Here are a few thing that you can do:

  • Plan an Outing

  • Do Yoga

  • Craft

  • Garden

  • Paint

  • Draw

  • Write

  • Bicycle

  • Walk

  • Hike

  • Go to the Beach

  • Attend a Concert


Embrace Your Feelings

Motherhood isn’t for everyone, and you made a difficult decision. It is okay to feel sad about your decision. This is normal. Recognize your emotions and remind yourself that you did the best thing for you and your baby.


Remind Yourself That You Made the Right Decision

When you chose adoption, you did it for a reason. Remind yourself why you made the right choice. And also remember that your child is in a loving family. They have supportive parents, a stable home and many opportunities.


Some of the reasons you make have chosen adoption are:

  • You weren’t ready for motherhood

  • You weren’t financially ready

  • You can continue working on your goals

  • You were able to complete your education

  • You weren’t able to provide a stable home life


National Birth Mother’s Day

The Saturday before Mother’s Day is National Birth Mother’s Day. This day has been set aside to honor those women who had the courage to choose adoption. If you know your child’s adoptive parents and have a good relationship, they may want to celebrate with you. This is a great way everyone can get together and show their respect and support for each other.


If You are Struggling to Cope

Remember, you are not alone. There isn’t a time frame for feeling better. Everyone is different, and you need your own time to heal. If you need to talk to someone, there are many resources available. It will take time to learn how to survive Mother's Day when you've chosen adoption. But there are people who love and support you and will help you through it.

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