Despite the wide range of people who choose to take part in the adoption process, there are a number of misconceptions about all aspects of the process. Below, we take a look at five of the most common misconceptions about choosing adoption and the truths that lie behind each of those misconceptions.
Birth mothers have no control over the adoption.
Many people think that once you start the process of placing your baby for adoption, you are merely a cog in a wheel and have no control over how the process goes or what happens to your child. In fact, that couldn’t be farther from the truth! As the birth mother, you have the ability to determine what kind of adoption you’d like to pursue, as well as pick out the specific adoptive family you place your child with.
Birth mothers are all young and irresponsible.
In reality, unplanned pregnancies happen to women of all ages and all walks of life. There is no one mold that the birth mother fits into. Some birth mothers are very education- or career-focused. Some simply never planned to be a parent. Others already are a parent to one or more children and know they can’t give another child the life they deserve. Choosing adoption for your baby does not make you irresponsible; rather, it is the most responsible choice you can make in many situations.
Birth mothers do not love their baby.
While birth mothers may not be planning on raising the child they give birth to, that certainly does not mean they do not love them. Birth mothers go through nine long months of pregnancy, with all of the strict medical care and restrictions and discomfort that entails, the pain of birth, and the emotional struggle of finding the best home for their child. All of that comes from a place of love.
Birth mothers never get to see their child again.
While we all hear about long-lost adoptees finding their birth mother many years after the adoption, in reality most domestic adoptions are now open adoptions. That means there is some level of communication between the adoptive family and the birth mother. If you want to stay in contact with your child, that is something you can ensure happens by choosing an adoptive family that agrees to those conditions.
Birth mothers regret choosing adoption.
Every birth mother will experience a wide range of emotions about her child and her adoption journey, and in many cases grief is one of those emotions, but in most cases, long-term regret just doesn’t come into play. Because you have a hand in choosing where your child goes, you can be confident that you’ve made the right choice and avoid regrets about your decision.