Blog// For Birthmothers

Meet the (Adoptive) Parents

What to Say When Meeting Adoptive Parents

After you've looked through the profiles of adoptive families and chosen your preferred family, it might be difficult to know for certain if they'll be the ideal parents for your baby. Meeting and speaking with adoptive parents can help you make a decision.

Before choosing, you have to consider the values you would love your kid to learn and the sort of parents you want. After all, you've most likely spent many hours contemplating what kind of life your child should have. Meeting and interacting with adoptive parents helps you to make the best decision.


Benefits of Talking With the Adoptive Family

A profile can only reveal so much about an adoptive family. However, you can't really tell from a profile how they feel about what they wrote there. You should get a clear picture of the adopting couple as future parents to your kid by directly asking them questions.


Talking to the adoptive couple, and getting to know what they feel might help you get a better sense of who they are. It will also help you decide what sort of open adoption interactions you would like to have before and after the adoption.


We understand that meeting and conversing with adoptive parents for the first time can make you nervous. This is because you want to make a good first impression and avoid saying anything inappropriate. Not to worry! The adoptive couple, like you, would want to bond but they may be concerned that you may not like them.


Typically, an initial phone discussion should take place. However, if you want to meet with them in person, please notify your Adoption Coordinator. Most prospective adoptive parents will gladly come to you for this meeting.


Here are a few things you should keep in mind going into the meeting.


Be Prepared

Inform your Adoption Coordinator if you are worried about your scheduled call with the adoptive parents. The coordinator can provide assistance and perhaps join the call to help take the dialogue forward. In addition, here are some subjects you might discuss:


Ask about their relationship

Learn about them by asking them how they met, their relationship, and what they like best about each other. Inquire about how they decided to become parents and why they chose adoption. Their responses will give you an insight into what they might be like as parents and how they interact with one another.


What are their values?

Find out what their values are and the parenting plans they have. Don't be afraid to ask them about issues that are important to you, things like their educational or religious beliefs. Ask them what a typical day in their house looks like, what their town is like, and if they have extended family close to them. This information can help you visualize the life they will create for your child.


Talk about the future

Discuss future interactions. Ask them what they intend to tell your baby about the adoption and about you. Ask them about the degree of contact and interaction they would want to have with you following the adoption.


Tell them about yourself

Share some information about yourself. Adoptive parents are eager to get to know the birth mom as well! You may tell them as much or as little of your tale as you choose. You might tell them about your interests and hobbies, your family, and anything else you think they should know.


During the initial meeting, you are in control, so it's perfectly fine to take your time before making decisions. Finding the appropriate adoptive parents is the greatest way to ensure that your child has all you desire for him/her, so don’t be afraid to be picky!

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