Journey to Parenthood
Our journey to parenthood began with a conversation on our first date. It was a mutual understanding that we wanted to create a loving family, and adoption seemed like the perfect path for us. Originally, we had dreams of a blended family, with adopted and biological children. However, as our adoption journey unfolded, we realized this path of adoption was not only right for us but filled our lives with immeasurable joy.
The decision to work with LifeLong Adoptions was a clear one for us. We were drawn to their focus on the LGBTQ+ community. It was important to us that we worked with an agency that embraced and understood our unique journey. While there were other agencies available, many of them had religious affiliations, and even though some worked with LGBTQ+ couples, it often felt like we were an afterthought. The numerous success stories of same-sex couples through LifeLong Adoptions assured us we were making the right choice.
Mix of Emotions
As we embarked on our adoption journey, we were flooded with a mix of emotions. There was fear, uncertainty, and anxiety, but there was also overwhelming excitement and joy. We knew this path wasn’t without its challenges, but we were ready to face them head on.
Our friends and family were ecstatic about our decision to adopt. They had known about our dreams of expanding our family for quite some time, and the prospect of being grandparents and aunts and uncles brought them immense happiness.
The journey itself was a roller coaster of emotions. We remember a pivotal moment in late March when we received a call that an expectant mother had selected us, along with one other couple, to talk to. We were elated and started conversations with her, but we had doubts as she was inconsistent with her communication. We thought she had chosen the other family, and this was a particularly hard pill to swallow. To our surprise, she called us, apologized for her lack of communication, and told us she had indeed picked us. From there, our relationship with her and her two children began to grow.
Building a Relationship
The expectant mother invited us to visit her and her family, and the meeting felt like we were reuniting with an old friend. We learned more about her and her life as she had a ten-year-old and seven-year-old. The connection was instant and heartfelt. She opened up about her reasons for considering adoption, and we respected her honesty and her determination to make the best decision for her child.
One question she asked us early on was what we planned to name the baby. We told her “Jackson,” and from that moment forward, she referred to the baby as Jackson. That was special and meant a lot to us. She truly always did what she could to make us feel so comfortable, and all we wanted to do was make her feel the same.
The induction was scheduled a week before her due date, and it was an incredibly beautiful experience. We were all in the delivery room when she was in labor, and as Jackson came into the world, it was an emotional moment. The birth mother turned to us and asked if we were ready, and our lives changed forever with Jackson's birth.
We have an open adoption with Jackson's birthmother, and we cherish the connection we have with her. It wasn't always smooth with inconsistencies in communication initially, but with time, we grew closer and our relationship became more stable. We are hopeful this connection will remain strong as she is family to us.
Finally meeting Jackson was a surreal experience. The overwhelming flood of emotions and the sense of responsibility were profound. It took almost a day for the reality to truly sink in, and we began our life as parents.
Worth the Wait
The adoption process came with its fair share of challenges, especially in the later stages when it became evident how real the adoption was becoming for the expectant mother. We wished we lived closer to provide more support to her. Her needs, both emotional and physical, weighed on us, and we wanted to help her as much as we could.
The waiting period during the adoption journey was perhaps the most challenging aspect. Although we were chosen eight months into our journey, doubts about whether it would ever happen still lingered. To ease this, we became more open with our friends about adoption, leaning on them for support. We also joined an adult sports team to divert our minds and remain occupied during the waiting period.
Our journey so far has been filled with life-changing moments and profound love. Our advice to other adoptive parents is to be patient and kind to yourselves. Take control of what you can while letting go of the things that are beyond your control. Adoption is a unique path, and what's meant to be will be. Trust in the process, and have faith that the right opportunity will happen.
Keep your options open, be flexible, and embrace each opportunity with an open heart. The connection with our son’s birthmother was a beautiful part of our journey, and we would choose this path all over again. Embrace each day, be kind to yourself, and know that your journey will lead you to where you are meant to be.