Our Path to Adoption
I always knew I wanted to be a mother, but being a single mother caused obstacles for me along the way. Prior to choosing LifeLong, I had adopted internationally, but there are many countries that do not allow single mothers to adopt. This was confusing to me since I had chosen international adoption over domestic because I thought no one would choose me over a two-parent family.
When I came across LifeLong, I loved how they catered to nontraditional families, leaving me feeling comfortable and excited. The staff was kind, and I appreciated the personal touch that LifeLong offered. Once I started, it was easy to not focus too much on the wait because I was focusing on being a mother to my boys.
I did not expect any interest right away, but a few months into my journey, I was chosen by an expectant mother who was interested in communicating with me. We texted back and forth to get to know each other. She had five children already and was unsure if she could handle another. There were many weeks of communication, and we were getting closer to her due date as she was due in about a month.
She had mentioned to her coordinator that she wanted to meet in person, and I was excited to do that. I met with her for lunch, and everything went well. I decided to go down again a few days prior to her due date. I wanted to be there in case she wanted me at the hospital. The expectant mother kept me in the loop by texting updates throughout the next few days. Then all communication stopped because she had decided to parent her child. She invited me to come visit her and the baby, so I did, even though she decided to parent. It was tough but I had chosen to take a leap of faith, and I don’t regret that.
I was chosen again by an expectant mother who was great with communication. We moved to the connection phase, and I was able to help her out with some of her financial needs. Once it was time for her to give birth, I flew out to where she lived. When I got to the hospital, the birthmom had not slept at all, and she handed me the most beautiful baby boy. He was perfect and so calm. The emotions were overwhelming because I was excited but also trying to guard my heart. Those few days of not knowing if this would all work out was scary but so worth it.
Mom of Three
I met the birthfather, and he was so nice. The birthmother and birthfather held the baby before we left to go back home. It was an amazing feeling leaving as a family of four. Who knew I would be a boy mom, but I love every second of raising my sons, and I am forever grateful to be a mom.
We have a semi-open adoption, which has worked out nicely. I text updates and pictures every six months so she can see how Kai is doing and how loved he is. I am still very grateful for how perfect Kai’s birthmom is and how much she loves Kai.
The best advice I have is to temper your excitement because you have to be realistic, patient, and ready for anything. Be hopeful that things will work out, but guard your heart. There will be challenges along the way, but trust the process. It is hard to figure out if things will work out. Realize that whenever you decide to have a child, you don’t know what will happen, whether you are birthing that child or adopting. You cannot control what happens, but you can control how open you are. Remember that everything will happen the way it is supposed to happen.