Signs to Success
Due to complications after our biological daughter was born, we decided to look into adopting to grow our family. We did a lot of research and found Lifelong Adoptions and knew it was a great fit for us.
We were really excited to get matched pretty quickly, but the expectant mother made the decision to no longer reply. Then, we were matched again and that one ended similarly. We were devastated when those connections ended without closure, but we knew that those mothers made the best decision for them, and we remained hopeful. Just before our final match, we had several positive and warm signs, and we truly felt like "this is the one".
A Different Approach
Rather than both of us calling/texting, we decided I would take the lead on establishing a bond and relationship with our expectant mother, Angela. I told her, "David's always going to know what our conversations consist of, and I want you to know him too. But I feel like it might be easier for us to get to know each other first." And I think that really was helpful and more manageable.
Getting to know Angela was wonderful. She was kind, well spoken, easy-going and had a very calming energy about her that eased our anxiousness. Eventually, we spoke about meeting in person. So we drove to her, and timed it around her doctor’s appointment so that I could attend her ultrasound with her. It was magical. We continued talking or texting daily. We all really became close.
Special Delivery
Because it was a nine-hour drive from our house to hers, David and I decided to get an Airbnb a couple days before her due date so we didn't miss the birth. We had all agreed that I would be in the room with her, so once we were there, I think Angela felt more at ease. She ended up going three days past her due date and we were able to spend more time together, going for walks and talking about our futures. The doctors finally decided to induce, and I got to watch our son, Aiden, be born. It was the most incredible thing to witness. He was perfect and healthy and had so much hair. I was just so grateful to her and in awe of her selflessness. Angela also allowed me to cut the cord, which was such a symbolic moment, cutting the cord from her to me. It was really special.
Life Today
We have an open adoption with Angela, and she is a special part of our family. We text a couple times a week, and I upload photos and a video of Aiden to her weekly. She is in nursing school, and we have two children now, so we also talk on the phone when our busy schedules allow. We met up for a night around Christmas time so we could all be together. She invited us to her graduation coming up which, of course, we will attend and celebrate her incredible accomplishment.
We know we are lucky to have a birth mom like Angela. She is someone whom we want in our lives, and want in Aiden's life. She makes us want to be good parents for him. I'm excited to see what their relationship will be like in the future. I don't know what that will look like, but I'm excited for it.
Advice for Potential Adoptive Parents
There are so many uncontrollable factors in adoption, and it can be tough. Just know that it will work out how it is supposed to. Have trust in that though, trust the process, and put yourself out there, even if it's hard. It's all worth it in the end.