Blog// LGBT Adoptive Parents

Things to Avoid in Your Adoptive Family Profile

Creating an adoption profile can be one of the more intimidating parts of the adoption process. There is a lot of pressure to make it stand out amongst all the others. It is your only chance to make a great first impression.

Like anything else, stressing over it too much can backfire. You want it to come across as natural, not contrived. While there is no perfect formula for making the best adoption profile, here are a few common mistakes you can avoid.

Either Too Much or Too Little

Your adoption profile shouldn’t be a 20-page memoir that most birthmothers will not want to even read. At the same time, you don’t want to be too brief and general. You need to try to strike a good balance, hit all the bases you wanted to hit, and keep it concise. If writing is not a strong point for you, it may help to work closely with your adoption agency or a specialized writer to guide you in preparing the ideal adoption profile. Even if you feel comfortable tackling the writing portion on your own, having an outsider’s perspective for editing is important, both for length and for errors.

Painting a Perfect Picture

One of the top goals in creating your adoption portfolio is to convey your true selves. This paves the way for fostering a quality connection with the birthmother. Many adoptive families try too hard to portray themselves as the picture perfect, happiest candidates, but leave out what makes them relatable as humans. This doesn’t mean detailing all your personal flaws. It just means being honest about real life trials and tribulations.

Try to keep in mind how complex the adoption process is for the birthmother. Maybe include some information on what led you to want to adopt, or how you’ve handled difficult times in your life. Raising a child will be filled with ups and downs. If you have experience surviving adversity, it makes you appear more capable of facing any future struggles that may arise. You may want to include the challenges of your own unique journey that led to this point of starting a family, especially in case of LGBT adoption.

Making it All About You

This may seem counterintuitive as an adoption profile is supposed to be about you. However, you want to try to make it more conversational in a way that helps the reader feel like they are already a part of your family. Talk about the other people who will be involved in your child’s life, like your own extended family or very close friends. Speak about gatherings and holidays that reflect the wealth of love and support in your home. When possible, include the birthmother in the dialogue with phrases like “you should see when” or “you’ll love how” to create a more personal sense of inclusion.

Creating an effective adoption profile doesn’t have to be so stressful. Once you get started, it will get easier as you go. It may take some time and little adjustments here and there, but as long as you focus on being real, being human, and being personable, you will make the best impression. Keep in mind that this is the beginning of a lifelong relationship, so you want to begin and follow through with absolute honesty.

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