Deciding to adopt a child into your family is one of the most selfless things you can do. Every child deserves to be loved by a caring family. During the adoption process, there are unexpected stresses that your family may face. It is important to understand that many things in the course of adoption are out of your control. Let us go over some of the possible stressors that your family may experience when adopting.
Newborn Adoption Stress
When you have decided on a newborn adoption, there are two types to choose from:
● Open adoptions
● Closed adoptions
With closed adoptions, you and your newly adopted family member will have little to no contact with the birth parents. Your information is sealed, and the biological parents will not have access to information such as your name.
Parents often fear that a biological parent will come back and take their child away. If the adoption is finalized, three things will allow them to take the child from you:
● Birth mother signing parental rights over under duress
● If both biological parents didn’t agree to the adoption
If the adoption didn’t fall under the above three categories, your adoption will be finalized properly.
Open adoptions allow birth parents to be a part of your child’s life in some way. In open adoptions, you come into an agreement with the biological parent. This could be in the form of visitations to periodic updates.
When agreeing to an open newborn adoption, remember that you are doing it for your child. Birth parents may push your limits. It is essential that you set boundaries early and have open communication to prevent unnecessary stress.
Any parent would agree that raising children is expensive. As kids get older, they eat more and require more clothes and other things such as tuition, medical care, and school supplies. Combine that with other expenses such as sports, and your head may be spinning. The more you plan and the more flexible you are, the better chance you will be prepared for the mountain of costs.
If you decided to have a closed adoption and your child needs medication attention, you may not have their family medical history. A benefit of having an open adoption is that you will have access to your child’s birth family and their medical history. With cases of serious medical emergencies and illness, you may not be ready for the mental or financial stress.
Older Child Adoption Stress
There is a reason why your child was removed from their birth family. All children have a story, which may include past trauma in the form of abuse, neglect, or worse. Another common issue is that they do not understand why their birth parents gave them up for adoption, making them feel rejected.
Your child may become rebellious and does not want to accept you as their parent. It takes patience and consistency, which can cause much stress. Reach out to other adoptive parents and support groups, who will help you develop ways to cope and overcome these frequent stressors.