Blog// LGBT Adoptive Parents

Keeping Your Marriage Strong Throughout Adoption

Marriage can be one of the most exciting journeys you ever take, and it can be one of the most frustrating. With the right partner, the good times easily outnumber the bad ones. When the two of you decide to take the path toward adopting a child into your home, you both step onto a roller-coaster ride that can be thrilling, frightening, awkward, overwhelming, and joyful all at the same time. Thankfully, you have each other to lean on throughout the ride. Just make sure that you do not forget to focus on the foundation of your family and take some time to focus on each other.

The domestic adoption process can take up to two years. This includes the decision to adopt, the application, the home study, the match, and the wait for placement. With all the focus on the adoption, it is easy to forget about the marriage and keeping it strong and healthy. Here are some ways to make sure your marriage stays rock solid throughout this process.

Schedule Dates

Schedule a date for the two of you. This can be as simple as a picnic lunch or a moonlight walk in the neighborhood, or as elegant as a night out at your favorite restaurant followed by a show. No phones, no interruptions, just the two of you together.

Love Reminders

When was the last time you told your spouse how you feel? Send a quick text in the middle of the day and remind your favorite person how much you love him or her. Order flowers or candy and have it sent to the office for no reason. Little reminders go a long way.

Find a Show to Binge

Pop some popcorn, cuddle up on the couch, and binge watch a show. This is a great way to spend quality time together and getting to know each other all over again. Just be sure not to cheat and skip ahead to the next episode without your partner.

Consider Counseling

Bringing a child into a marriage is a major change to the dynamic. Even though your marriage is strong, you are still going through a transition, and this is a great opportunity to talk through ways to keep your marriage strong, while learning ways to adapt to a major life change. Plus, you can start talking through the important things, like who gets diaper duty, and where you both stand on discipline.

Be Prepared to Fight the Right Way

You will be dealing with so many ups and downs through the adoption process and no one can be expected to handle this level of emotional turmoil with a constant smile. You both will experience stress and disappointment, but you cannot let it affect your relationship. Your feelings are valid, and you should discuss them with each other. Just be sure to not snap at your partner or take them out on each other. When it is time to argue, keep the conversation fair and focused, and do not make it a personal attack.

You Are in This Together

Your relationship is strong, and it needs to stay that way for both of you and your child. You are a partnership and together you can get through this and come out on the other side happier, healthier, and better for the journey!

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