Blog// LGBT Adoptive Parents

Keeping Your Relationship Strong After Adoption

All couples have their struggles, and adding a child to the mix brings added stress to the relationship. The adoption process can be stressful and may expose weaknesses in a couple’s relationship, so it is important for every couple considering adoption to take extra care to work on their relationship and keep it strong. 

Two of the most effective ways to keep your relationship strong throughout the adoption process is to maintain strong communication and ensure to make time for yourselves as a couple.


Communication is Key

While it is important in all relationships to have good, open communication, it is especially important during times of stress. Couples who adopt are faced with a lot of emotional and financial stressors that need to be communicated about healthily. It is critical that you and your significant other set clear expectations for each other and communicate them by regularly checking with each other.


At the start of the adoption process, it is important to plan out the tasks necessary for the adoption process and decide how to complete them as a couple to avoid one person feeling as though they are the only one committed to seeing the adoption through. 


When parenting your child, especially a child that may have experienced trauma before being adopted, you may find you are experiencing a lot of frustration within your family and your relationship. Take care to manage these frustrations in a thoughtful and healthy manner by communicating in a calm and careful manner with your significant other. 


While counseling is often considered something that is only for couples with a relationship that is failing, it does not have to be the only reason for a couple to go. If you and your significant other know that your relationship is going to be experiencing a transition that may induce stress, such as adoption, then seeing a counselor may be a great proactive choice for you as a couple to keep your relationship happy and strong.


Making Time for Yourselves

This is crucial for all parents to keep their relationship strong, whether your children are biological or adopted. Parenting is a time-consuming job, and it is easy to forget to make time for you and your significant other after welcoming a child into your family. However, now more than ever it is important for you as a couple to have a healthy relationship, because it models to your child what relationships should look like. 


If you are worried about your finances, you can avoid spending money on your date by doing something simple, such as a picnic or movie night at home. If you can’t hire a babysitter, see if a family member would be willing to do it as a favor. 


The relationship you have with each other as parents is important. Without communication and time to connect, you risk losing sight of your significant other’s needs and wants which can lead to feelings that not only affect your relationship but can affect your ability to parent effectively. For the sake of your family, it is essential that you work to maintain a strong and healthy relationship.


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