So, you’ve sorted through adoptive parent profiles and you have settled on one (or several) families you are interested in. That’s great! Now it’s time to take a big step forward in the adoption process: it’s time to meet your potential adoptive family. It’s completely understandable that you might be nervous. What if they aren’t what you expected? What if you have nothing to talk about? What will you say?
Slow down. It’s okay to be anxious. If your nerves are getting the best of you, consider these tips before meeting with the adoptive family.
Take a deep breath. While we understand you are nervous about meeting with adoptive parents, it’s important to remember that they are just as nervous as you (if not more!). Keeping calm, acting natural and being yourself is key in getting a true for who each other really is. Don’t forget these are the people who could be your child’s lifelong family - the only way you will know if there is a connection is if both you and the adoptive parents are 100% themselves.
During the initial meeting with the adoptive parents, it’s important to express your expectations about the entire process. Tell them what attracted you to their adoption profile in the first place, and what you expect from them as the parents of your child. If you’re comfortable enough, you may even want to tell them why you chose adoption for your baby. Sharing these feelings about the adoption process (from both parties) can help establish a deeper connection between the birthmother and adoptive parents, and aid in getting a true understanding of each person’s perspective. No one is perfect - and it will be difficult to find an adoptive family that you feel shares your expectations 100%.
Location, Location, Location:
If meeting at the adoptive family’s home or even an attorney’s office is a little too much for you, suggest a comfortable location that is suitable for everyone. A local cafe, park or quiet restaurant are all great options, and a public atmosphere can help take the pressure off. A comfortable location allows for easy conversation that is light and stress-free.
Speak Up & Ask Questions:
As a birthmother, you undoubtedly have tons of questions for the adoptive parents. After all, you can only learn so much from the adoptive parent profiles. This is your chance to ask the adoptive parents anything you want, and hear their honest answers. In many cases, their passion and excitement for adoption will make your decision just a little bit easier.
Not sure what to ask? LifeLong Adoptions has you covered on questions every birthmother should ask adoptive parents. If your questions reach beyond the adoptive parents, do not hesitate to contact us! We are available to our birthmothers around the clock.