Having an adoption hospital plan in place can help make the birthing experience a much more enjoyable one for both the adoptive family and the birthmother. While it is important for all involved to maintain some level of flexibility, as medical issues may arise that necessitate a change in plans, having a plan in place can help all involved feel more prepared and help you know what the expectations are going into the big day. Below are some tips on how to make the most of creating this plan.
Who Makes It?
Because the day of birth should be mostly about the birthmother and her needs, she is where the adoption hospital plan will need to start. In many cases, the adoption agency involved will help her start putting this plan together, but you may be asked for your input on certain matters. The plan is primarily to make the hospital staff aware of her wants and needs -- does she plan on an epidural? Who does she want in the birthing room? -- but it can also help you know what will be expected of you.
As you get to know the birthmother, what she asks of you in regard to the birth plan may change. For example, she may originally not want you in the room if she doesn't know you well, but in the months leading up to the birth she might change her mind. However, keep in mind that this is an incredibly sensitive time for her, and you should never put pressure on her to allow more than she is comfortable with.
Adoptive Family Expectations
As the adoptive family, you have some choices to make in regard to this birth plan as well, though these decisions will always be framed around the birthmother's. An important decision that she will need to make is how much contact she will want from you in the days following the birth. In some states, adoption papers cannot be signed until a certain amount of time has passed after the birth, so knowing what your contact parameters are during that time can help make the transition smoother for all involved.
Another option that might be considered by the adoptive family is if the birthmother is okay with the adoptive family being in the room during the birth or visiting afterward, you may be able to get a room at the hospital. Not all hospitals allow this, and even then it might be changed at the last minute if they run out of room, but being able to be nearby really helps the adoptive family feel more involved in the process.