There are around 120,000 domestic adoptions each year, but still adoption isn’t for everyone. Placing your baby for adoption is one of the hardest decisions any birth parent will have to make, so it should never be made lightly. Below we’ve listed some factors that you should consider before proceeding with the adoption process.
Adoption Type: Domestic adoption typically follows one of three pathways: closed, semi-open, or open adoption. These three forms of adoptions can occur in both traditional and LGBT adoption. If you want the adoption process to be a closed door, as you think it’ll be easier to move forward with your life this way, then closed adoption may be a good route for you. If, however, you’d like to be kept in the loop about your child every once in awhile, then semi-open adoption will be the better choice. Lastly, if you want regular contact and maybe even visitation of your child, then open adoption can be a great option. It is worth mentioning in regards to open adoption that the agreement between you and the adoptive family isn’t legally binding, meaning that either side can renege on their agreement and close the adoption at any time.
Who Do You Want to Raise Your Child?: Considering the type of parent(s) that you want for your child will help you to decide when you’ve found the perfect adoption connection. You may wish to take part in an LGBT adoption, or may have had positive experiences being raised by a single parent so may wish to give a single adoptive parent the chance to raise your baby. You may be looking for a couple which aligns with your ethnicity or your beliefs. Whatever you choose, it is important to make sure that you are 100% happy with your final choice.
You Can Change Your Mind: In almost all adoption cases you have time to change your mind after signing the adoption papers. Signing the adoption papers doesn’t immediately bar you from changing your mind or making alternative decisions when it comes to placing your baby. Most states will have a wait time after the papers have been signed which gives you the time to reconsider the adoption if you feel strongly that you have made the wrong decision.
It is also important to remember that during your pregnancy you can pull out of the adoption process at any time. You don’t owe the adoptive parents or the agency any debt, and should not feel coerced by guilt or promises into making a decision you don’t agree with.
Speak to the Birth Father: If possible, connect with the birth father and inform him of your decision. As the birthmother the final decision always stays with you, so don’t allow yourself to be pressured. However, you may find that you can form a workable plan that allows you to raise your baby if that is your wish. The birth father may also express a wish for the type of adoption you choose which may help you to make a better choice.
It is Your Choice
The most important thing to remember when considering placing your child for adoption is that as the birth mother the choice sits with you and you only. If you want to keep your baby, then as long as it is safe to do so no one can stop you, and if you feel your child is best placed for adoption, then the opinion of those around you should not be forced upon you.