Blog// For Birthmothers

Making an Impossible Choice: Adoption vs. Parenting

If you're faced with an unexpected pregnancy and must choose between adoption and parenting, you must know that each choice has its own benefits and drawbacks, and the decision may seem impossible. However, you are not the first to experience this; other women have been there and many more will. Although nobody can make this choice for you, this article can help you decide whether to parent your child or arrange for adoption. Whichever option you choose, be sure that you're giving your child a wonderful life, whether via parenting or by putting them with caring and eager adoptive families.

How to Decide Between Adoption and Parenting

Unfortunately, there is no blueprint or straight answer that will tell you if adoption or parenting is the right solution for you. As a result, deciding whether to parent or adopt may be the most difficult decision of your life. What matters most is that you make the decision that you believe is best for you and your baby. Parenthood isn't for everyone, the same way adoption isn't. 

Here are some considerations to help you decide:


Do Not Rush

You should not make a decision immediately when you discover that you are pregnant. At that point, you most likely feel under pressure, and making a decision when you're anxious may lead to regrets. You will be able to examine your position more sensibly and objectively if you take things slowly.


It's natural to want to get a resolution to end your anxiety as quickly as possible, but we advise you to give it some time. You do not need to feel pressured. While considering their pregnancy options, some women contemplate adoption but eventually decide to parent. Some struggle with motherhood and decide to put their baby up for adoption after he or she is born. It is never too late to go with adoption, so don't allow any due date to force you to make a hasty decision.


Make Research and Ask Questions

Analyze all of your options and find people that have been in your shoes. It's obvious that you are already conducting some research by reading this, but looking for and speaking to others can also be helpful. Find other birth moms that are managing college classes and a newborn. If you're about to start a profession, you might have questions like, "Would I have time for my baby right now?" Adding a child to your already hectic schedule might be a daunting task.


Inquire with birth mothers about the benefits and drawbacks of the road they took, as well as what has and hasn't worked for them. Even though no two lives are the same, interacting with birth moms will offer you an insight into what your life may be like if you took each path.


Write Your Plans

Pick up a pen and draft a parenting plan as well as an adoption plan. What does each of them look like? Include in your parenting plan how you will fund everything your baby needs, as well as who will keep your child when you're at school or work. One of the primary reasons women are unsure of the decision to make is a lack of financial assistance, so consider any state or federal assistance programs you could make use of. Next, while considering adoption, consider the sort of parents you want for your child. You may look through waiting families and find the perfect match for your child.



We understand that deciding between parenting and adoption is difficult, but it is a decision that only you can make. Don't allow others to hurry you into making a decision. 


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