If you are considering placing your baby for adoption, you might be curious about the emotions you may feel after your baby has been placed. It is important to note that every adoption experience is different, and any emotions you experience throughout the process are valid and deserving of compassion. That being said, here are five common emotions you may feel after placing your child for adoption.
In many instances, placing a baby for adoption can feel like a loss. As such, you may find yourself going through the five stages of grief: denial, bargaining, depression, anger, and acceptance. These stages are totally normal and can occur in any order. If you experience these emotions, be sure to be patient with yourself and seek support from others as you work through these complicated feelings.
One stage of grief that birth parents are especially likely to experience is anger. After placing your child, you may feel anger towards your adoption specialist, the adoptive parents, your friends and family, or even yourself. This is completely understandable, but it’s important to remember that the pain you are experiencing is not anybody’s fault. The best way to manage these powerful emotions is to find healthy coping mechanisms that allow you to feel your feelings without hurting those around you.
In addition to grief and anger, you may also find yourself experiencing feelings of guilt and shame. You might worry that you made the wrong choice for your child or feel like you can’t openly talk about your decision to place your child for adoption. Again, it is important to offer yourself compassion and grace, and to seek support from others. Additionally, remember that you made the best choice possible for you and your child at the time, and that is nothing to be ashamed of.
Although there is a chance you might experience negative emotions after placing your child for adoption, it is equally likely that you will experience positive emotions about the event. For example, you may be relieved that the adoption process is over and that your child has been placed with a healthy, loving family. These feelings are completely normal—in fact, they show that you have made the best possible choice for your child and yourself.
Similarly, you may also experience joy at seeing your child with their adoptive family. It is exciting to know that your child will experience a life full of love, and that you will be able to start a new chapter in your own life if you so choose. Ultimately, adoption is a complex process that can bring up a variety of strong emotions, but it’s important to remember that there are good things ahead for both you and your child.