Being a birthmother isn’t easy. While you are dealing with your own emotions about adoption, you may also have opinions from friends and family to deal with. Some may agree with your decision, while others might not. People will always have their opinions, but you should feel confident and proud about your decision to create an adoption plan. For now, we want to put these common myths to rest.
Myth: A birthmother does not love her baby.
Truth: This myth could not be farther from the truth. It is actually the exact opposite. When a woman chooses to place her baby for adoption, she is doing one of the most loving, brave, honorable, and selfless things possible. Nothing says “love” like wanting the best for your child, even if that means a life with adoptive parents. Choosing adoption isn’t giving up an unloved or unwanted child, it is recognizing your current situation and wanting a better life for them. Don’t let anyone make you think otherwise!
Myth: Adoption is the “easy way out.”
Truth: Perhaps you are unsure about adoption because you feel like it is an irresponsible choice. Maybe you feel that parenting is the responsible or right thing to do given the circumstances. Depending on your unique situation, this may or may not be true. Choosing adoption for your baby is actually a very responsible, caring, and loving act. Adoption should never be considered the “easy way out.” It is far from easy! Birthmothers love their children. They are not choosing adoption to make their life easier. They are doing it so their child can have the life they may not be able to provide them.
Myth: Adoptive parents don’t care about birthmothers.
Truth: When creating an adoption plan, it may be hard to believe that there are people on your side. In reality, there are many people rooting for you! There are many who praise you for making such a loving and selfless decision for your child, including the adoptive parents. By choosing adoption, you are bringing light and happiness to people’s lives that they would not be able to get without you. The adoptive parents are not only thankful for your gift, but want you to be comfortable, healthy, and happy throughout your pregnancy. While adoptive parents may never understand what it’s like to be a birthmother, they do care about you and respect your emotions and thoughts.
Myth: Adoptive parents won’t love a child as much as a birthmother.
Truth: It is true that there is a unique bond between a birthmother and her child, and that bond can never be taken away or replaced; however, adoptive parents can and will love your child as fully and selflessly as biological parents. Most adoptive parents with both biological and adopted children report no difference whatsoever in the love they feel for their children.