You have been focused on a single goal for a long time, but unfortunately it didn't work out. Chances are you are struggling to make peace with your failed adoption. But as disappointing as it is, there is no reason to stay in despair. Many people have gone through the exact same thing, managed to recover and tried again. Here is what you can do to turn it all around and continue to hope that the next part of the process with be successful.
Give yourself time to grieve.
This is the first stage, and it happens as soon as you receive the heartbreaking news. Grief is a process you need to go through to heal and have the courage to move forward with the adoption process. Your partner is your biggest means of support during a failed adoption. Both of you need to allow yourselves to feel anger, betrayal, and loss. These emotions are normal, and everyone deals with them differently, so be sure to give yourself all the time you need to feel and process them. It is important to deal with it instead of letting it eat you up inside.
Take good care of yourself.
It can be easy to forget to take good care of yourself when you have a lot on your plate. And being unable to finalize an adoption is a very stressful situation. But this is exactly why you should focus on your well being even more than you have before. Just like in every other context, taking good care of yourself involves making sure you are of sound mind and body. Be careful not to neglect either of them.
Allow your friends and loved ones to help.
Your true friends love you and they want to help you, so talk to them. Sometimes, after a failed adoption, you just want to be alone. That is also normal. Take your time, and when you feel ready to talk, your friends and family will be there for you. Visit them at their homes just to mix things up a bit. Go to a restaurant together and treat yourself to an evening in pleasant company.If you don't feel like talking to your friends or family, you should think about joining a support group or seeking professional help. It always helps to share your experiences with others who have gone through similar things.
Keep in mind that you are fragile.
The intensity of what you are feeling may cause you to make rash decisions. This is why it is so important to keep in mind how sensitive you are at the moment. By following this advice, you will be able to stop yourself from making bad decisions, as well as let yourself go through the grieving process at your own pace.
Get what you can out of the experience.
Don't dwell on why this happened to you. Instead, think about what you have learned from the experience. When you feel ready to proceed with the adoption process, think about how you will communicate with future birthmothers and become better at spotting red flags. You will soon realize that what you have gone through has given you a great advantage.
Don’t let it stop you from trying again.
Whatever you do, don’t let the fact that you haven’t succeeded at your first attempt get you down. It doesn’t mean the same thing will happen if you try again. If anything, it improves your chances of making your dreams come true. So don’t let a single failed adoption stop you from giving it another shot!