You have wanted to adopt a child for a long time, and went through a lot of stress to get there. But now your bundle of joy is finally here, and you feel stressed and overwhelmed. You can’t seem to connect with your child and it is driving you crazy. Are you a bad parent? Are you just not cut out for this? No. What you’re experiencing are probably post-adoption blues.
What are the post-adoption blues?
The adoption process led you to the wonderful moment of meeting your new baby, but it didn’t prepare you for the feeling of being overwhelmed that can happen after your accomplishment. There are many ways to recognize the symptoms of post-adoption blues, and luckily, many ways that are recommended to cope with it.
Once the placement occurs it is not unusual a parent to feel like a failure, but it is not healthy to hide your feelings or carry that burden by yourself. The connection with another person is never instantaneous. It can take time to feel that special bond with your child. Post-adoption blues can lead to further depression. That’s why it’s important to recognize the signs of post-adoption blues when they happen and manage them.
One of the reasons why post-adoption blues occur is that during an adoption process parents need to prove they are fit to be parents. Once their child is placed with them, they struggle with the fact that no one is perfect.
It can be hard for parents to admit to themselves and acknowledge that they are having a hard time with something they have wanted for so long. But, you need to admit that something’s not right to solve the problem. If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for the rest of your family.
How can you cope with post-adoption blues?
Post-adoption blues are not uncommon, and there are a number of ways to cope. Here are some good suggestions to get you through these tough times.
The first step is to acknowledge that you’re feeling a post-adoption blues and find some coping mechanisms that are suitable for you.
You’re not alone, so allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling, but remind yourself you’re going get through this with help and support.
It’s also a good idea to join a support group to share your feelings with others who have been through the same.
It often takes some time to bond with the child so remember that your baby will need some time to get attached. Learn to be patient.
Take care of yourself and don’t do things you don’t want to do.
Enroll in a parent-child class to build a connection with your child.
Keep a positive attitude and don’t let negative thoughts in.
If you really have post-adoption blues, it is nothing to really worry about. Just work on each problem one day at a time.