The journey toward becoming adoptive parents is one filled with anticipation, excitement, and uncertainty. For many prospective adoptive parents, one of the most challenging parts of the process is waiting to be chosen by an expectant mother. The waiting period can feel long and unpredictable, but it’s important to remember that this time is an opportunity for growth, preparation, and self-care.

In this post, we’ll explore practical and compassionate ways to stay busy, positive, and mentally healthy while you wait for that life-changing moment when you’re chosen.

Acknowledge Your Feelings

It’s important to acknowledge and accept the range of emotions you feel during the adoption wait. It’s completely normal to experience a mix of excitement, anxiety, frustration, and even doubt. There may be days when you feel hopeful and optimistic, and there may be other days when the wait seems overwhelming and stressful.

Allow yourself to feel these emotions, and don’t be afraid to talk about them with your partner, your family, or a supportive friend. Processing your feelings is a healthy part of the journey, and doing so can help prevent burnout and emotional exhaustion.

Focus on What You Can Control

One of the most difficult parts of waiting during the adoption process is the lack of control. No one can predict when an expectant mother will choose you, but you can focus on aspects of your life that you do have control over. Here are a few things you can work on during the waiting period:

• Learn New Parenting Skills: Prepare for the exciting challenges of parenthood by learning new skills. Whether it's attending parenting classes, reading books on infant care, or practicing baby basics like diapering and swaddling, gaining confidence in these areas will help you feel more prepared.
• Prepare Your Home: While you may already have started setting up a nursery or baby-proofing your home, take this time to fine-tune these preparations. Organizing and decluttering your home can create a calming environment that helps you feel ready for your new family member.
• Stay Informed: Continue learning about adoption, parenting, and child development. There are countless books, online courses, and podcasts available that cover everything from adoption attachment to infant care. Expanding your knowledge will help you feel more prepared for the transition to parenthood.

Stay Connected with Your Support Network

The waiting process can feel isolating at times, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Lean on your support network for encouragement, advice, and companionship. Whether it’s talking to a fellow adoptive parent, sharing your journey with close friends, or attending a support group, staying connected can make a huge difference.

• Join an Adoption Support Group: Many adoptive parents find comfort in connecting with others who are in the same stage of the adoption process or who have gone through it before. Support groups, whether in-person or online, provide a safe space to share experiences, ask questions, and offer advice. You’ll likely find others who understand exactly what you’re going through.
• Keep Communication Open with Your Partner: If you’re going through this process with a partner, it’s important to stay emotionally connected. The waiting period can be stressful, and stress can sometimes cause tension in relationships. Set aside time for regular check-ins to talk about how you’re both feeling and what you need from each other during this time.

Practice Self-Care

Waiting for adoption is emotionally and mentally taxing, and that’s why it’s essential to practice self-care. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. When you’re emotionally and physically well, you’ll be in a better place to welcome a child into your life.

• Prioritize Your Health: Use this time to focus on your physical and mental health. Exercise regularly, eat nutritious meals, and make time for activities that help you relax and recharge, such as yoga, meditation, or spending time outdoors.
• Explore a New Hobby: Engaging in a new hobby can be a great way to pass the time while also enriching your life. Whether it’s learning a new craft, starting a home project, or diving into a book you’ve been meaning to read, finding joy in an activity can be a helpful distraction and provide a healthy sense of accomplishment.
• Take Breaks from Adoption Talk: While it’s important to stay informed and connected, sometimes you need a break from thinking about adoption. Give yourself permission to focus on other aspects of your life. Spend time with friends and family, take a weekend trip, or simply enjoy quiet moments without the pressure of planning for the future.

Strengthen Your Relationship

If you’re waiting with a partner, this time can be an opportunity to strengthen your bond before your family grows. Parenthood is a wonderful but life-altering experience, and building a strong foundation as a couple will benefit you and your future child.

• Plan Special Dates: Take advantage of this time to enjoy uninterrupted time together. Consider a weekend getaway, a special date night, or even a quiet evening at home. Whatever you do, making time for each other can help deepen your connection.
• Discuss Your Parenting Goals: Have open conversations about your parenting goals and values. Talk about the kind of parents you want to be, how you’ll handle challenges, and what your priorities are for your child’s upbringing. This can help you feel more united when the time comes to welcome your child.

Give Back While You Wait

One of the most fulfilling ways to stay busy during the adoption wait is by giving back to your community. Volunteering not only allows you to help others, but it can also provide a sense of purpose and connection.

• Volunteer with Children: If you enjoy working with kids, consider volunteering at a local school, youth center, or organization that supports children. This can give you valuable experience while also allowing you to make a positive impact.
• Support an Adoption Charity: There are many organizations that help children and families in need. Donating, fundraising, or participating in awareness events for adoption-related causes can bring meaning to your waiting period.

Stay Hopeful & Trust the Process

Finally, it’s important to stay hopeful. The adoption journey can be unpredictable, and it’s natural to feel anxious about the unknown. But remember, each waiting day brings you one step closer to the moment when you’ll be chosen by an expectant mother. 

Trust that the right connection will come at the right time. When the wait feels overwhelming, try to shift your focus to the incredible future that lies ahead. Soon enough, you’ll be holding your child in your arms, and all the waiting will be worth it.

Embrace the Waiting Period

While waiting to be chosen by an expectant mother is challenging, it’s also a time filled with opportunity. Use this period to grow, prepare, and connect with the people who support you. By staying busy, practicing self-care, and focusing on what you can control, you’ll find that the waiting process becomes more manageable—and even meaningful.

At LifeLong Adoptions, we understand the unique challenges of the adoption journey, and we’re here to support you every step of the way. Whether you’re just starting or nearing the finish line, we’re ready to help you achieve your dream of becoming a parent.

If you’re thinking about adoption as a way to grow your family, we’d love to help you. Start your journey today with our free application.