Blog// LGBT Adoptive Parents

4 Things Birth and Adoptive Parents May Wonder

During the adoption process, millions of thoughts and feelings go through the heads of the pregnant woman and the hopeful parents. While these thoughts may vary widely, some of them are certainly very common.

Below are some of the thoughts you and others may have during the adoption process.

 1.     “Is adoption the right choice?”

Adoption is not a one-time activity, but a life-long commitment between the parties involved. It is for this reason that careful consideration should be taken before embarking on the adoption process. A lot of planning is needed because once an adoption is finalized, it will impact many lives, including the child, adoptive parents, birth parents, family members, relatives, and even friends.

Adoptive parents may worry over the overwhelming adoption process in the form of paperwork, emotional distress, legal checklists, and so on. 

On the other hand, most birth parents are also cautious in deciding to place their child for adoption. They may experience the fear of not knowing what will happen to their child afterward or perhaps worry that the child may grow to hate them later on.

 2.     “Can an adopted child be loved as much as a biological one?”

During the adoption process, this thought is common among adoptive parents. They may worry if the child, when adopted, will feel as if they are a biological child or if raising them will feel like babysitting. During the adoption process, birth parents are conversely worried as to whether the prospective adoptive parent is capable of loving their child as they would.

The most important thing to know about this worry that even in the relationship between biological children and their parents, love often does not appear instantly. It comes over time as the result of a long-lasting bonding with the child. Therefore, both parties can take in the comfort of countless testimonies of loving families the American adoption system has brought together. 

3.     “What if they become emotionally attached to their biological parents and cannot love their adopted parent?”.

The adage “blood is thicker than water” comes into play here. Whether the child was adopted at an early age or not, adoptive parents are faced with thoughts about the level of love an adopted child can have for them. In certain cases, some adoptive parents fear that their child may, later on, despise them, blaming them as the reason they seem to have little or no relationship with their biological parents.

4.     “What if my child has health and behavioral issues?”

Many adoptive parents worry about unknown health or behavioral issues that may come with the adopted child. They may fear that when these issues do occur, they may fail to handle these challenges and, as a result, love the child less because of these ‘imperfections.’

Adoptive parents can overcome these fears by educating themselves or by interacting with parents in similar conditions to build their confidence in their ability to handle any challenges that may arise.


The adoption process is never an easy task. It is filled with lots of ups and downs - a whirlwind of an emotional and legal rollercoaster. However, you should note that it is okay to be nervous during this period since, most times, both parties share this feeling. All parties must pay attention to the most important reason for the adoption, which is the happiness, security and well-being of the child.

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