An adoptive family profile is one of the most important pieces of your additional paperwork, as it is what a birth mother will look at when deciding on a family for her baby. You are thinking about what information to include, what picture you should put in, and how you want to present yourself and your partner. This is not an easy step and there are some common mistakes that hopeful adoptive parents make when creating an adoptive family profile. Here are the don'ts.

1. Improper photo selection. 

The first and the most obvious mistake you can make is choosing the wrong photos. This means you shouldn’t include any low quality photos, retouched photos, or photos in which you look like you are posing. The visual part of your profile is important, so try really hard and make your photos aesthetically pleasing. Also, avoid sharing selfies and out of focus photos. If you think you are not going to take good photos, ask your friend to take them or hire a professional since that is an investment you are not going to regret.

2. Using first person if you are part of a couple.

If you are speaking on behalf of a two-parent family, using first person in the adoptive family profile is a big mistake. It is really important to strive for an equal representation in the profile. Talk to your partner while writing each part of the profile and take turns writing different sections. Make your profile a team effort. You can even include a short story about how you two met.

3. Being too brief.

Another big mistake when writing your adoptive family profile is answering the questions with just one short sentence. If your partner loves to bake, don’t just say so, but rather describe how you enjoy coming home from work to find the whole house smelling of cookies. Write about how things make you feel and this way you can relate to the birthmother.

4.Trying to sound perfect.

But how exactly should you represent yourself in an adoptive family profile? Making sure you don’t paint the wrong picture is a great start! So don’t try to make yourself sound perfect, rather be honest and open about your feelings and desires. After all, people are quite able to figure out when someone is just trying to impress.

Don’t be afraid to show that you’re vulnerable and open in your adoptive family profile. The purpose of this profile is to give a deeper insight into who you are as a family and your reason for adoption. If all you do on Sundays is lay around and watch TV, just say it because that is who you are and, who knows, maybe that is just what the birthmother wants to read because she is doing just the same on Sunday afternoons.

5. Going on about your problems.

Focusing on your problems while writing an adoptive family profile is a lot like trying to sound perfect; by doing it, you are giving an exaggerated and often false image of yourself and your struggle. If you are dealing with infertility and working hard towards finalizing an adoption, you are a fighter. It is okay to say that, but try not to make it the central point of your letter.

When it comes to the content itself, it is hard to give good advice about adoptive family profiles. This is mostly because we all have different backgrounds, personalities and goals. But if there is one thing you should focus on, it should be making it clear to the reader that their child would be a loved member of your family!